[Critique Group 2] 2-23-23 Group-2 Critiques.docx

[jamesstarfire at gmail.com]

2-23-23 Group-2 Critiques 

 

1. Valerie's piece:

 

A relationship definitively ends badly. This piece paints the picture of the
thoughts and feelings of the Aftermath i.e. post ending . Some favorite
lines: "The balance wobbles, falls through. Too many conditions

bully-streaks" vividly recalls similar feelings. In the past there were more
than one of your poems that alluded to a similar relationship loss. Was
there a final confrontation and the end of one of the relationships
described in one of the previous poems resulting in this pain filled
"Aftermath?" What does this mean: "pinpricks of rezilliance breaking again?"
Is it reappearing or coming apart?

***

2. Leonard's piece:

 

A poem written earlier but being reviewed 28 days (more or less) before the
beginning of spring. It describes some ambiguous telltales. So, the title
is: "Mixed Signs." But the last line says: "I will follow the signals of
Spring." The poem seems to detail how difficult it is to actually discern
clear indications of spring.  Therefore, perhaps the last line might say
something like: I shall continue my vigil, seeking clear signals. There is
some appealing imagery in this pre-spring piece. 

***

3. Alice's piece: 

 

First, I wasn't aware of the evolution of the phrase. A creative tracing and
connecting of the lyric line: "he's not heavy, he's my." I am unclear re
this allusion: "With tears, I heard Neil Diamond sing." Does this refer to
Alice's tears or Neil Diamond's? I was unaware of the Kelly Gordon
rendering. In this critiquer's (yes Spellcheck, not a word) humble opinion,
the Prose Poem format is an excellent vehicle for delivering this story. 

***

4. Joan's piece: 

 

Love's Tea Cup: love can have the delicacy and beauty of porcelain and yet
also have a component of "blue" as in wistful sadness; wherever one may
swim, within without and through. It is love's very nature. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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