[Critique Group 2] 8-31-23 critique Group-2.docx

[jamesstarfire at gmail.com]

8-31-23

Critique Group-2

 

1. Valerie's piece:

 

This is a story of loss, betrayal and ultimately death. I am not absolutely
sure who's story it is but upon rereading, I think it is probably that of
Anne Frank. If so, it accurately captures the profound questioning and the
emotional anguish of a young girl determined to survive in a precarious and
extremely dangerous situation. Her conclusion that people are "good at
heart" has always baffled me. For what it is worth, I believe that people
aren't good or bad, it is the choices they make that define the quality of
their character. The piece demonstrates the enduring impact of the
protagonist's diary on the poet. It is unfortunately, more applicable to our
post insurrection America than ever before. 

 

2. Sandra's piece:

 

An acrostic expression of the poet's profound difficulty navigating a life
episode requiring personal adjustment to vast changes. Her first step: "I
accept the breaking down, not yet noting reconstruction." With intense
weariness, "marking off days of progress small and slow." However, there is
hope as after much emotional turmoil: "Tears flow, absent, intrusive
gatekeepers:

Ambulating Halls of polished, dark-hued wood, I

Train weary eyes on love's advancing censer,

Inextinguishable . . . inviolable . . ." The poet captures the infinitesimal
process of acceptance and growth, subsequent to unexpected, enormous
personal loss. A very powerful poem! 

 

3. Joan's piece:

 

A beautiful evocation of an episode of profound youthful transcendence.
Perhaps for the first time? I can't help thinking of my own poem in which I
call such experiences "invaluable treasures." Here we have clear
recollection as the impact of this epiphany is not lessoned by time but
rather: "One with her name." Would that they all could be so! 

 

4. Leonard's piece:

 

This piece admirably captures the frustration and rage which frequently
results from dealing with unnecessarily complex bureaucratic systems in our
21st century technological wonder world. I absolutely love this description:
"We want to talk to an agent," we said.

 

"Do you want to talk to an agent?" the mechanical man asked.

 

"Yes," I screamed.

 

Then they put us at the beginning of the contact torture chamber again. This
is just so accurate! Such experiences can get one to the point of wondering
if we are crazy. NO, it is the dam systems. Bob Marley said: "systems, cause
all de problems!" I have been in many such situations and applaud the
familiarity of this recounting. So, I have to ask, did it ever get fixed?

 

 

 

 

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