[Critique Group 2] Critiques for 9-29-22.docx

[jamesstarfire at gmail.com]

Critiques for 9-29-22 

 

* Leonard's piece:

 

Another classic Leonard talking animal piece. This would be a superb story
with a bit more development and illustration it could be like an age 4 to 10
y.o.a child's golden book. Delightful, whimsical and thoroughly
entertaining. 

 

** Valerie's piece:

 

A short, powerful confessional piece about her personal struggle to live
with mental anguish and loss. As is very frequently the case, a lot is said
with few words. My Spellcheck doesn't like cataclizmic and suggests
cataclysmic. The world and times in which we live are hardly soothing for
someone with these issues. In fact, they very likely exacerbate the
situation. As a former mental health therapist, I can't help wondering if
there is anything that could help? Perhaps everything has been tried. But
truly, I hope not! 

 

*** Alice's piece:

 

This is a piece that is all about prospective. A state of personal angst
seems as if nothing when set against the background of the cataclysmic 9-11
tragedy. It is not immediately clear to this writer what caused the
flashback. Also, the name "Magic Mirror Lake" is not known to me. Is it
actually clear and mirror-like and is it located in Milwaukie? A powerful
piece of personal realization! 

 

 

**** Joan's piece:

 

After multiple readings, I must admit that I am not at all clear about
meaning and several references. It seems (and I only say seems) as if it
tells a complex story of transformation, possibly akin to that of Job? I
believe that the reference to "Walt's grass" might relate to Walt Wittman's
"Leaves of Grass." I am stumped by the term "Juarroz." So, I Googled it.
Does it refer to Alberto Juarroz the Argentinian poet who developed vertical
poetry?  "they deafened my silence and silenced my soul

they purged my spirit of Spirit." I note the capitalization of "Spirit"
where "spirit" seems to refer to spirit generically. Shattering images of
transformation relating to physical disability, possibly more specifically
spinal cord injury? And after all this, "there was room again to breathe."
After all the things that occurred, I wonder that breathing is even
conceivable. Sorry, this is the best I can do. I will truly enjoy hearing
the poet's explanation of meaning and intent.

 

 

 

 

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