[Critique Group 2] 11-21-22 Group-2 critiques.docx

[jamesstarfire at gmail.com]

11-21-22 Group-2 Critiques 

 

1. Joan's piece:

 

What seems to be the last sounds made by the author's father just before his
death. After which she internalizes his "solitary song." An unusual and
interesting concept i.e., conceptualizing the last breathing sounds of a
person's passing as music. Perhaps it is! Is it music that comforts or just
the music of inevitability? 

 

*** 

2. Leonard's piece:

 

An engaging and powerful Halloween piece. When gets the impression that
those condemned to haunt a place due to inability to move on from tragedy,
get one night of mental health therapy, once a year on Halloween: "You have
to let go of the guilt. You know that, don't you? You will be a prisoner in
that house, haunting it, until you do." Perhaps the lesson here, is to
relinquish all guilt or any other unresolved emotional ties if one hopes to
move on to the next incarnation. A nice creepy piece!

***

3. Alice's piece:

 

For many, carousels hold a special magic. My X used to have an amazing
collection of ones of widely varied sizes and even some that could be made
to rotate and play carousel music. I remember with crystal clarity the
carousel I used to ride as a very young lad. Interestingly, there was a cat
with a fish in its mouth that was the size of the horses that was my
favorite. They even had a bench-like seat for the old or faint of heart.
Question - does this line: the painted ponies know their world of grace
derive from Joni Mitchell's brilliant song "the Circle Game?" I also like
this line: "Forever tethered to each shining pole, still destined to this
solitary role." An evocative and nostalgic piece! 

***

 

4. Valerie's piece: 

 

What rang my understanding bell immediately, is the five- verse
construction. Verses 1 & 2 have positive door references. Verse 3 is a
transitional verse where: "Doors left ajar" can reveal unexpected and
unpleasant knowledge. Verse 4, highlights the pain that results from closed
doors: "aching bones and heart hurt creeps in." 

In verse 5, there are hidden doors which "protect" until she is ready to try
again to open and throw them wide. A beautifully constructed piece which
does offer hope. May resolve return soon and you become once again ready, to
turn the nobs and throw the doors wide!

 

 

 

 

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