[Critique Group 2] Fwd: Leonard's comments on Joan's work

[Leonard Tuchyner]

Leonard I. Tuchyner, Author
 
https://www.dldbooks.com/tuchyner/

 
  
 
 




-----Original Message-----
From: Leonard Tuchyner <tuchyner5 at aol.com>
To: group3 at bluegrasspals.com <group3 at bluegrasspals.com>
Sent: Tue, Aug 9, 2022 6:03 pm
Subject: Leonard's comments on Joan's work


This poem is done in the style of Poe I think.  

While on an outing she and her companions encounter a murdr ofcrows.  

They are making quite a racket. 

It was as though they were speaking  in an an ancient, unknown tongue  with their mouths wide open  

and screaming at each other. 

It was like they were  squawking an omen. 

And that she and her companions were alone meant to hear it.    

The crows landed in a tree 

and their ravings seemed to be about a quarrel  they had with each other. 

But it was really quite a show. 

Their voices surpassed everything around and beyond them. 

You listened for a moment or two and then moved on to morepeaceful endeavors. 

I realy enjoyed this poem. 

In the end it was  full ofhumor. 

I could identify with the scene.

 

 

Omen

by Joan Myles

 

blue brightness of that afternoon

compelled us out of doors to lark

exploring every sense but soon

we heard a voice more like a bark 

 

ominous as a wizard’s spell

the crows from one to next

were opening wide their throats to tell

some ancient unholy text

 

a secret or a warning they

conveyed in bitter tone

an angry and cantankerous fray

revealed to us alone

 

but as we watched the squawking swarm

fell upon a tree

a cloud of furious alarm

and irate jealousy

 

what’s this we held our breaths in awe

what’s this we heard the screech

the streaking hawk’s bewitching draw

Oh would the murder reach

 

Their  raucous chase surpass the sky

as wondrous visions go

and captivated passers by

oh Such a violent show

 

we gawked a moment more or two

but hawk and squawking over

we did what all good wethers do

moved on in search of clover




 
 
Leonard I. Tuchyner, Author
 
https://www.dldbooks.com/tuchyner/

 
  
 
 

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