[Critique Group 2] Lenard's comments on Brad's work

[Leonard Tuchyner]

Good title. 

We often forge chains of our own making, 

even when they are only made up. 

They are  imprisoningnonetheless. 

As we get older 

we  find more materialout of which to forge these chains. 

We make a big deal out of paltry sins. 

On the other hand, they can consist of heart breaking losseswhich are all too real. 

As we age, 

it often is increasingly difficult to feel free regardless of the origin of the cause. 

Freedom comes from choosing what the author  calls an untramelled path.   

It is a path  where weare forever mindful that we are in charge of how we perceive ourselves 

and the way we interact with the world.  

We  can’t give up thattruth and remain free. 

Be true to yourself , 

may be one way of describing this path. 

The piece is full of metaphores  and imagery.

A well done piece. 

Frank Sinatra may have described the path as “Doing it my way.” 

I don’t entirely agree with the point of view. 

I find that examining my past actions are critical in selfunderstanding. 

Sometimes we have reason for remorse.

and  lose theopportunity of growth by not incorporating even guilt for somethings we mighthave done. 

Though, the self forgiveness aspect is always important. 

 

Remembering To Be Free

© Brad Corallo

Word count 171

 

Self made purgatories and artificial prisons.

Like Marley’s ghost,

we may forge our own chains.

Though such aren’t always ours to earn.

Guilt, regret or just being in the world

can provide the requisite cold iron.

 

As the weight of the years falls upon us,

truly feeling free can become illusory.

Some build cages of the mind.

Punishing themselves over

paltry breadcrumb sins.

While others drained by far too much loss

lose hope and forever dwell,

isolated, within unyielding incarceration.

 

We may come to learn in time

that freedom is anything but free!

Nor is it a word for

nothing left to lose.

 

Rather, it is an untrammeled  path of being

for engaging with the world.

There are transparent barriers to dodge,

Lies that can ensnare and

compromise sincere open hearted efforts.

 

At such times we must

remember who and what we are!

Though we are constrained by gravity and

the maintenance of our bodies.

Our minds and hearts

are still undeniably our own!

 




 
 
Leonard I. Tuchyner, Author
 
https://www.dldbooks.com/tuchyner/

 
  
 
 

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