[Critique Group 2] Leonard's comments on Val's piece

[tuchyner5 at aol.com]

This is a heart wrenching poem. Yet it is  beautifully written.  



Once again, says so much. You have been here many timesbefore.



That experience gives you hope.



This too shall end.



You find someone to tell.



Someone has been there too.



That communication



Marks the beginning af the end.



The end of the imprisonment you feel.



You know the future will be brighter.




 


Val sub for March




 


Trap




 



 



 


Dank, dark,




 


once again,




 


in a trap that




 


crushes me.




 



 



 


Not made of iron,




 


steel,




 


just mind lock of agony




 


oh, so real!




 



 



 


Paralyzing,




 


antagonizing,




 


where is the key?




 


When I can't think or see.




 



 



 


Try all I know




 


to ease the rain,




 


waiting in a void




 


where I have no name...




 



 



 


It will pass,




 


but, until it does,




 


I'm longing to touch




 


where hopefulness was.




 



 



 


Trap, terrible strain--




 


keep love as an anchor




 


light unseen



beyond fear and shame.




 


I tell someone



I'm stuck in isolation



there has someone



who is feeling the same--




 


Slowly, the prison



begins to sway,



cool, calming waters



take the chains away!




 


Holding on,



this night will end,



bringing serenity--



a welcome friend!




 


Valerie Moreno



*For those who have been there, too.



________



spiritwind at pmpmail.com



We all know it's better yesterday has passed, so let's startliving for



the one that's going to last.



  -Yusuf/Cat Stevens




 


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