[Critique Group 2] Fwd: Leonard's comments on Alice's piece

[tuchyner5 at aol.com]

-----Original Message-----
From: tuchyner5--- via Group2 <group2 at bluegrasspals.com>
To: tuchyner5 at aol.com
Cc: Critique Group 2 <group2 at bluegrasspals.com>
Sent: Fri, Jun 25, 2021 4:09 pm
Subject: [Critique Group 2] Leonard's comments on Alice's piece


I really  liked this poem. 
 
It takes one who thinks out of the box, 
 
even when it is unpopular.  
 
Using the statue as an impetus  for a poem 
 
who’s theme would be opposite to the motives ofthose who were responsible  for itscreation, 
 
is a powerful thing to do.  
 
You make your point 
 
which is sharpened by the conflict 
 
which the statue creates in you. 
 
You have wishes for the homeless and want toknow what they wish for.
 
  
 
Alice sub for June 17
 
  
 
 
 
MonumentalWishes for a Homeless Person
 
  
 
Clever play on words.
 
 
 
poemby Alice Jane-Marie Massa
 
 
 
Behind the Cathedral of Saint John,
 
right on the edge of the sidewalk
 
along the busy VanBuren Street
 
is a most unusual monument--
 
a monument of a cemented homeless person
 
lying on a concrete bench and
 
covered by a cement newspaper.
 
 The word cement is used veryeffectively.
 
I wish that all of the money
 
that went into the making of this monument
 
would have gone to a monolithic soup kitchen.
 
I do wonder what the homeless residents
 
think of this statue in repose.
 
I find it abruptly inappropriate.
 
  
 
 There is no hiding of your feelingsabout this statue.
 
  
 
I do wish all the homeless people in Milwaukee
 
Could find peace and shelter.
 
For what do they wish?
 
You wish they weren’t homeless.
 
 
 
Does he wish to be out of the cold,
 
not on the streets growing too quickly too old?
 
Does she wish to be away from the dampness, outof the rain?
 
Does she wonder what else her life couldcontain?
 
Does he wish to be drunk or wish to be sober?
 
Does he sometimes wish his life were over?
 
Does she too often dream of a well-rounded meal?
 
Is she here and there too tempestuously temptedto steal?
 
This is a great list of things that describesthe state of homelessness. 
 
  
 
Do you always wish for a better tomorrow?
 
Please let us know how we can lessen yoursorrow,
 
how we can make one wish come true.
 
You are looking for directgions  from the people who would be helped. 
 
How original. 
 
  
 
I heard you once played a saxophone,
 
then sold the instrument for a cellular phone.
 
Whom do you call when you are here all alone?
 
 
 
That is a startling question. 
 
  
 
I pray all will be kind to you.
 
  
 
 So, you,too, be kind, stay well, and give me your wishes.
 
 I like the ending.
 
  
 




_______________________________________________
Group2 mailing list
Group2 at bluegrasspals.com
https://bluegrasspals.com/mailman/listinfo/group2
-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: <http://bluegrasspals.com/pipermail/group2/attachments/20210625/f459f6b6/attachment-0001.html>
-------------- next part --------------
An embedded and charset-unspecified text was scrubbed...
Name: Untitled
URL: <http://bluegrasspals.com/pipermail/group2/attachments/20210625/f459f6b6/attachment-0001.ksh>