[Critique Group 2] Leonard's comments on Alice's piece

[tuchyner5 at aol.com]

I really  liked this poem. 



It takes one who thinks out of the box, 



even when it is unpopular.  



Using the statue as an impetus  for a poem 



who’s theme would be opposite to the motives ofthose who were responsible  for itscreation, 



is a powerful thing to do.  



You make your point 



which is sharpened by the conflict 



which the statue creates in you. 



You have wishes for the homeless and want toknow what they wish for.




 


Alice sub for June 17




 


 



MonumentalWishes for a Homeless Person




 


Clever play on words.



 



poemby Alice Jane-Marie Massa



 



Behind the Cathedral of Saint John,



right on the edge of the sidewalk



along the busy VanBuren Street



is a most unusual monument--



a monument of a cemented homeless person



lying on a concrete bench and



covered by a cement newspaper.



 The word cement is used veryeffectively.



I wish that all of the money



that went into the making of this monument



would have gone to a monolithic soup kitchen.



I do wonder what the homeless residents



think of this statue in repose.



I find it abruptly inappropriate.




 


 There is no hiding of your feelingsabout this statue.




 


I do wish all the homeless people in Milwaukee



Could find peace and shelter.



For what do they wish?



You wish they weren’t homeless.



 



Does he wish to be out of the cold,



not on the streets growing too quickly too old?



Does she wish to be away from the dampness, outof the rain?



Does she wonder what else her life couldcontain?



Does he wish to be drunk or wish to be sober?



Does he sometimes wish his life were over?



Does she too often dream of a well-rounded meal?



Is she here and there too tempestuously temptedto steal?



This is a great list of things that describesthe state of homelessness. 




 


Do you always wish for a better tomorrow?



Please let us know how we can lessen yoursorrow,



how we can make one wish come true.



You are looking for directgions  from the people who would be helped. 



How original. 




 


I heard you once played a saxophone,



then sold the instrument for a cellular phone.



Whom do you call when you are here all alone?



 



That is a startling question. 




 


I pray all will be kind to you.




 


 So, you,too, be kind, stay well, and give me your wishes.



 I like the ending.




 








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