[Critique Group 2] Leonard's comments on Joan's 12 20 piece

[tuchyner5 at aol.com]

Joan 12 20

 

Swirling

by jm

 

words like ashes

swirling between us

These two lines paints a picture of words that are swirling.

To me that speaks of strong energy, 

perhaps  angry words. 

They are between to persons.

 

singe the wings of silence

as deep places dissolve

Singe connotes heat. 

Heated words.  

Theyh overcome what had been held in silence.  

What has been withheld runs deep. 

Finally greivances held in for a long time are expressed. 

In that process the hurts that have been held in are dissolved.

 

 

syllables smudge then smother

clutter and clot our being

 

Here I’m confused.  

Syllables, which are partsof words, 

clutter  and smudge  

What I  assuimed was a positive process, 

is really part of theproblem. 

Exactly opposite in meaningfrom what I thought.

 

 

words like ashes

swirling

 

Perhaps, ashes hold the embers which burn, 

threatening holocost. 

Swirling, again means greatg energy. 

Like, a storm. 

Perhaps both are true. 

Perhaps  theprocess can be either hurtful or eventually healing. 

I am not sure.
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