[Critique Group 2] Leonard's comments on Alice 12 20

[tuchyner5 at aol.com]

A delightful Christmas story  about the return of her  husband from the military.  

I love the way she found out  by taking an unexpected path home 

which enabled her to find out abouthis surprise home coming 

by way of a donkey. 

I got lost in the names of the maryclub, 

but I didn’t mind. 

The idea was clear enough.  

The mary club was a good device tofacilitate the wuld be surprise.

The final scene when her husband isin the audience  was beautiful.

 

Alice 12 20

 

 

 

MerryChristmas, from the Mary Club:

 

AFictional Story for Your Holiday Reading

 

ByAlice Jane-Marie Massa

 

 

            “Mary Francis, how’s the president of the Mary Club?” yelled Mary Therese fromthe side of her snow-covered barn.

 

               “All is well.  I am delivering Pizzelle to all the members in goodstanding of the Mary Club.”  Her Beagles Queenie and Quilter happilygreeted their neighbor and awaited their pets.  After handing thedecorated tin filled with Pizzelle to Mary Therese, the younger woman explainedthat she had already delivered to Mary Sue, Mary Ellen, and Mary Pat. Although Mary Therese urged her friend to stay for a visit and a cup of tea,Mary Francis and her dogs were determined to continue their walk, asusual.  

 

               Folding up her large bag, Mary Francis felt a bit like Santa after deliveringall of the early gifts; however, the date was only December 16.  She had talkedwith her students earlier that day about the nine-day celebration of “Posadas”;and thoughts of her own community’s live Nativity were alternating withthoughts of her husband who was serving in Afghanistan.  She walked. Every night, she walked with her two Beagles.  When he first left, lilacswere in bloom.  After months of walking in the summer’s late sunshine,Mary Francis was comforted by walking through the fallen leaves.  In thepast several days, she had been leaving her bootprints in the snow.  Yes,the young woman was dwelling on no donkey for the live Nativity and no Joel tosmile at her from the audience.

 

In her highschool classroom, she stood almost all day; and each night, her feet weretired, but she walked and wondered.  When she arrived home, Mary Francisknew that there would only be a stack of papers waiting for her—

Waiting  repeated 

waiting forher to grade.  Mary Francis said a quick prayer that an e-mail from Joelwould also be waiting for her.  

 

               Instead of going up the stairs to the front porch where one of the windowsdisplayed a blue star for her Joel, Mary Francis took another path into theonce-used pasture--even Queenie and Quilter were surprised, but they were readyto continue their adventure into the night with all of its interestingsmells.  

               After a few minutes, a cloud moved aside to allow a star to shine brightly ontothe east side of the pasture.  Mary Francis wondered if she were seeing adeer:  obviously, something was near the clump of pines.  The twoBeagles were the only animals on the hobby farm:  their little barn didnot even have a single barn cat.  At times, she had wished for a horse,but knew such aimpractical.  “Maybe someday when Joel is back for good …maybe a little pony when we have …,” her thought was interrupted by a movementahead.  Immediately, Mary Francis called the dogs to heel and affixedtheir leashes.  “Good girls,” she whispered as her eyes squinted to seewhat was near her favorite pine tree.  With her red plaid scarf, she wipedsnow from her glasses.  In the starlight, Mary Francis realized that whatwas before her was a little donkey--perhaps, a miniature donkey--with a big redand silver bow around its neck.  Slowly, she approached the animal. Then, Mary Francis firmly told her Beagles to stay.  Queenie and Quilterwhined a little, but obeyed.  Carefully, Mary Francis moved right up tothe little donkey who was pleased to nuzzle a new friend.  As she strokedthe donkey, Mary Francis found that a bag was tied onto the red ribbon. Realizing how gentle the donkey was, Mary Francis called Queenie and Quilter toher.  The donkey seemed to have met them previously.  

 

               In the silent pasture, Mary Francis opened the red satin bag that was toppedwith snowflakes.  Inside the bulky bag, the young woman found a beautifulpair of fleece-lined slippers--light blue with a snowflake design, shethought.  Next, Mary Francis found an envelope and removed the card. At first, she could not read the message, but she could feel an embossed donkeyand a manger on the front of the card.  Finally the moon sent a beam oflight over that section of the pasture so that Mary Francis could read themessage:  “I know how much you love the story of the “Posadas,” so here isyour donkey named Posadas to let you know that I will be home in nine days--Iwill be home for Christmas.  Love always and forever, Joel.”  Withtears of gladness, Mary Francis read the card at least three more times and didbelieve the words.  As she leaned against the donkey’s soft coat, MaryFrancis reached out to pet Queenie and Quilter.  She could feel her heartagain:  she could feel real hope again for Christmas.

 

               Somehow, Mary Francis had gone to the pasture even before she had read Joel’se-mail.  

I’m confused here. How did she readthe note befor she got to the pasture? Didn’t she read the note in the pasture?

 

Holding the slippers and guiding thedonkey, the soldier’s wife and her two dogs walked toward the littlebarn.  All was well on that 16th of December, and Mary Franciswhispered prayers of thanks and joy.  Suddenly, the teary-eyed womanbecame aware of activity around her barn.  A familiar voice shouted,“Merry Christmas, from the Mary Club!”  Of course, the cheery voice wasMary Ellen’s.  Mary Francis waved the snowflake slippers in the air andrealized that some of the visitors were going in and out of the barn.  Inthe driveway were four trucks, one of which had a horse trailer.  BesidesMary Ellen and one of her sons, Mary Sue and her husband John, Mary Pat and herson Matthew, and Mary Therese were there.  

 

               Seeing how overwhelmed Mary Francis was, Mary Therese took her friend’s arm andshared, “Dear, we have everything ready for Posadas in the barn, and we haveanother surprise for you in the barn.”  With Mary Therese on one side andPosadas on the other, Mary Francis entered the barn--directly behind Queenieand Quilter.  

 

               Mary Pat spoke first:  “Here is Posadas’ faithful companion.”  Asexpected, the two little donkeys were quite happy to be reunited.

 

               After a few minutes of taking in the reunion, Mary Sue spoke up:  “Well,you may want to change the name of this little donkey.  She is named …Mary Jo!”

 

               Reaching out to shake hands with and give hugs of gratitude to all of herneighbors, Mary Francis was blessed with that delicate combination of joyfultears and jolly laughter--a laughter she had not enjoyed for many months.

 

               Nine nights later, as the Mary Club was singing at the live Nativity withPosadas and Mary Jo nearby, a young soldier smiled brightly from the audience.

 

* * *

 

Christmas blessings to all who havewelcomed home or will welcome home 

members of the United States ArmedForces during the holidays!

Alice and Leader Dog Willow

 

December 9, 2020, Wednesday

 also for Group 2 critiquesession on December 17

 

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