[Critique Group 2] reminder and Leonard's submission

[tuchyner5 at aol.com]

Hi group2,




Just a reminder that your pieces are due today. Also, below you will find my congtribution.

 

Leonard

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word count: 960

Barney,a Hard-Working Dog



 



Occasionally it is nice to applaud the merits of a good friend.So, I would like to tell you about how wonderful my dog Barney is in fulfillinghis responsibilities as a hard-working member of society. You see, he has a jobwhich he takes very seriously.  That job is to patrol the boundariesof his fenced in yard, and thereby the near environment, and keep it safe.



 



Safe from what, you may ask. Safe from any varmints that enter orare in danger of entering his domain.  If they do, they are flirtingwith death. This dog is known to have broken the backs of squirrels, rabbits,rodents, and other unmentionables. He has often been seen attacking stinginginsects and birds, if he can get his mouth around them,



 



If the animal is too big for him to handle, he will intimidate itwith volleys of growls, snarls and barks, that go on for extended periods oftime.  Even when the marauder leaves, as they inevitably do, Barneywill continue to bark to let them know that he is there andwatching.  That list of larger varmints includes bears, vultures,beavers and even deer, to mention a few.



 



In one episode, he attacked a copperhead snake. He kept theserpent from slithering away, which one might have thought was his purpose. Butno, he kept dashing in, leaving no chance for the snake to get away. Until,finally, the snake succeeded in biting him on the lip. This all happened in themiddle of the night. That didn’t stop him. Not this undauntabledog.  He kept trying to get to the snake. Eventually his mistress wentout to see what was going on. She did the only thing she could do. She choppedthe copperhead’s face off with a sharp shovel.



 



After we got Barney in the house, we discovered the snake bite,and whisked him off the the vet where he spent the night.  He was notallowed in his yard for several days and was forbidden from going outside afterabout 8:00 pm; probably for the rest of his life.  Not unreasonable,since he is over 12 years old. And may not have the speed he used to have.



 



There are some exceptions to his intolerance for other creaturesinvading his territory. They would include song birds that frequent our birdfeeders and most of the squirrels that come to our porch to gather the missedand dropped seeds of the birds.  But occasionally, he will surpriseone and chomp, goodbye squirrel.



 



Now that Barney is not permitted to spend the night barkingoutside, he has devised a way to keep his property safe. He has a toy boxfilled with various stuffed toys. All of them have qualities which if they werealive, would do away with other creatures that don’t belong in Barney’s yard.He takes them out of their box and stations them around the yard in variousplaces that need special protection. For example, he keeps a faux snake in theexact spot where he encountered the copperhead.  He positions theothers in various strategic places. A group of them are placed in front of thestairs that lead to the top of his porch. I think that’s pretty good, for adog’s brain.



 



Despite the fact that Barney is not allowed outside after acertain hour, he still manages to keep our property safe by his ferociousbarks, growls and other noises he is capable of making whenever he senses otheranimals prowling around in the night.  The dog is mainly awake atnight -- all night long.  in fact, He sleeps in the day, except foroccasionally policing the grounds. So, we are treated to his professionalnoises he makes in carrying out a canine’s duties.



 



As much as I enjoy those noises and admire him for his work ethic,I also like my sleep. This is a situation which puts me in conflict. He knowsthat these sounds annoy me and tries to control them. The poor dog tries tocontrol the barks by swallowing them. But 9 times out of 10, they eventuallyget the better of him, and we are threatened with a night of interrupted sleep,or no sleep at all.  So, I give him a chance to limit his vocaldisplays, but when it becomes obvious that he cannot do so, I usually lock himin a room in the back of the house. This room is downstairs of our bedroom andhis vociferations are far enough away for them barely to be noticed. He isconsiderate enough to go to his room when he hears me coming downstairs. When Iarrive, usually between 1:00 and 2:00am, I merely have to close the door, andhe’s locked in for the night.  When my wife gets up at 5:00am, shelets him out.  He is resolutely determined to go outside immediately,to see if his intermittent nightly vocalizations have been successful inkeeping his territory safe from tigers and all manner of do-badders.  Sofar, his record is pretty good. We have not seen a single tiger prowling aroundour house in years. He comes inside after that and contentedly lies down tofinally get some sleep on the couch.



 



I don’t know what we’ll do when he retires. Our home will beinvaded by creatures. As I have already pointed, he is 12 plus years old now.That’s equivalent to about 90 years to human age. So, he’s getting pretty closeto that. His sister is that age and stiff with arthritis. She doesn’t patrolanymore.  But when Barney does retire, he gets a gold watch, when helearns to tell time.



 



 



 




 


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