[Critique Group 2] submission for December 17 critique

[Alice Massa]

Season's Greetings!  writer friends of Group 2--At six minutes before 
midnight, I just realized that I had not yet sent my submission to all 
of you although I already posted the piece on the WPL and onto my blog.  
This story is a new one which I just wrote during the past couple of 
days.  Well, I am getting triple duty from this holiday story and will 
paste the 1142-word story below.


Happy Hanukkah, and happy holidays!

Alice


* * *


*Merry Christmas, from the Mary Club:*

**

*A Fictional Story for Your Holiday Reading*

**

By Alice Jane-Marie Massa

“Mary Francis, how’s the president of the Mary Club?” yelled Mary 
Therese from the side of her snow-covered barn.

“All is well.I am delivering Pizzelle to all the members in good 
standing of the Mary Club.”Her Beagles Queenie and Quilter happily 
greeted their neighbor and awaited their pets.After handing the 
decorated tin filled with Pizzelle to Mary Therese, the younger woman 
explained that she had already delivered to Mary Sue, Mary Ellen, and 
Mary Pat.Although Mary Therese urged her friend to stay for a visit and 
a cup of tea, Mary Francis and her dogs were determined to continue 
their walk, as usual.

Folding up her large bag, Mary Francis felt a bit like Santa after 
delivering all of the early gifts; however, the date was only December 
16.She had talked with her students earlier that day about the nine-day 
celebration of “Posadas”; and thoughts of her own community’s live 
Nativity were alternating with thoughts of her husband who was serving 
in Afghanistan.She walked.Every night, she walked with her two 
Beagles.When he first left, lilacs were in bloom.After months of walking 
in the summer’s late sunshine, Mary Francis was comforted by walking 
through the fallen leaves.In the past several days, she had been leaving 
her bootprints in the snow.Yes, the young woman was dwelling on no 
donkey for the live Nativity and no Joel to smile at her from the audience.

In her high school classroom, she stood almost all day; and each night, 
her feet were tired, but she walked and wondered.When she arrived home, 
Mary Francis knew that there would only be a stack of papers waiting for 
her--waiting for her to grade.Mary Francis said a quick prayer that an 
e-mail from Joel would also be waiting for her.

Instead of going up the stairs to the front porch where one of the 
windows displayed a blue star for her Joel, Mary Francis took another 
path into the once-used pasture--even Queenie and Quilter were 
surprised, but they were ready to continue their adventure into the 
night with all of its interesting smells.

After a few minutes, a cloud moved aside to allow a star to shine 
brightly onto the east side of the pasture.Mary Francis wondered if she 
were seeing a deer:obviously, something was near the clump of pines.The 
two Beagles were the only animals on the hobby farm:their little barn 
did not even have a single barn cat.At times, she had wished for a 
horse, but knew such a wish was impractical.“Maybe someday when Joel is 
back for good … maybe a little pony when we have …,” her thought was 
interrupted by a movement ahead.Immediately, Mary Francis called the 
dogs to heel and affixed their leashes.“Good girls,” she whispered as 
her eyes squinted to see what was near her favorite pine tree.With her 
red plaid scarf, she wiped snow from her glasses.In the starlight, Mary 
Francis realized that what was before her was a little donkey--perhaps, 
a miniature donkey--with a big red and silver bow around its 
neck.Slowly, she approached the animal.Then, Mary Francis firmly told 
her Beagles to stay.Queenie and Quilter whined a little, but 
obeyed.Carefully, Mary Francis moved right up to the little donkey who 
was pleased to nuzzle a new friend.As she stroked the donkey, Mary 
Francis found that a bag was tied onto the red ribbon.Realizing how 
gentle the donkey was, Mary Francis called Queenie and Quilter to 
her.The donkey seemed to have met them previously.

In the silent pasture, Mary Francis opened the red satin bag that was 
topped with snowflakes.Inside the bulky bag, the young woman found a 
beautiful pair of fleece-lined slippers--light blue with a snowflake 
design, she thought.Next, Mary Francis found an envelope and removed the 
card.At first, she could not read the message, but she could feel an 
embossed donkey and a manger on the front of the card.Finally the moon 
sent a beam of light over that section of the pasture so that Mary 
Francis could read the message:“I know how much you love the story of 
the “Posadas,” so here is your donkey named Posadas to let you know that 
I will be home in nine days--I will be home for Christmas.Love always 
and forever, Joel.”With tears of gladness, Mary Francis read the card at 
least three more times and did believe the words.As she leaned against 
the donkey’s soft coat, Mary Francis reached out to pet Queenie and 
Quilter.She could feel her heart again:she could feel real hope again 
for Christmas.

Somehow, Mary Francis had gone to the pasture even before she had read 
Joel’s e-mail.Holding the slippers and guiding the donkey, the soldier’s 
wife and her two dogs walked toward the little barn.All was well on that 
16^th of December, and Mary Francis whispered prayers of thanks and joy. 
Suddenly, the teary-eyed woman became aware of activity around her 
barn.A familiar voice shouted, “Merry Christmas, from the Mary Club!”Of 
course, the cheery voice was Mary Ellen’s.Mary Francis waved the 
snowflake slippers in the air and realized that some of the visitors 
were going in and out of the barn.In the driveway were four trucks, one 
of which had a horse trailer.Besides Mary Ellen and one of her sons, 
Mary Sue and her husband John, Mary Pat and her son Matthew, and Mary 
Therese were there.

Seeing how overwhelmed Mary Francis was, Mary Therese took her friend’s 
arm and shared, “Dear, we have everything ready for Posadas in the barn, 
and we have another surprise for you in the barn.”With Mary Therese on 
one side and Posadas on the other, Mary Francis entered the 
barn--directly behind Queenie and Quilter.

Mary Pat spoke first:“Here is Posadas’ faithful companion.”As expected, 
the two little donkeys were quite happy to be reunited.

After a few minutes of taking in the reunion, Mary Sue spoke up:“Well, 
you may want to change the name of this little donkey.She is named … 
Mary Jo!”

Reaching out to shake hands with and give hugs of gratitude to all of 
her neighbors, Mary Francis was blessed with that delicate combination 
of joyful tears and jolly laughter--a laughter she had not enjoyed for 
many months.

Nine nights later, as the Mary Club was singing at the live Nativity 
with Posadas and Mary Jo nearby, a young soldier smiled brightly from 
the audience.

* * *

Christmas blessings to all who have welcomed home or will welcome home

members of the United States Armed Forces during the holidays!

/Alice and Leader Dog Willow/

December 9, 2020, Wednesday

  also for Group 2 critique session on December 17


-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: <http://bluegrasspals.com/pipermail/group2/attachments/20201211/fe62fd4e/attachment-0001.html>