[Critique Group 2] Leonard's comments on Aliseis sub for Aug

[tuchyner5 at aol.com]

poem by Alice Jane-Marie Massa

Holding on to the drift wood of dreams issuper creative. 

Could mean olding on to dreams, which isnot dealing with reality or holding   on to dreams rather than abandoningthem. 

Then you are swimming   inmemories.  

I’m not sure that is any better. 

But your memories are plesant , 

and it makes sense. 

But you know you must come  and get grounded in reality. 

But you mistake  overmorrow forreality.  

Overmorrow I think means over the horizonwhere you cannot yet see. 

Howver, when you get there, it doesn’tseem like it is a palatable place.  

So you choose   to go back to dreams, 

where you have some control .

 

Iheld onto the driftwood of dreams

aslong as I could.

Now,I am swimming, swimming 

inthe Sea of Memories--

stroke,by stroke--

likethe pendulum of time--

lifetime,

lliferhyme.

 

Howpleasant are these soothing waters of yesteryear!

Howfun are the waves of the past!

Stroke,stroke,

float,float, a while,

amile, or more.

Oh, Sea of Memories--

howyou do please my Hoosier heart!

 

Yet,I know I must find landfall.

Isuppose I must find the Land of Overmorrow.

Float,float, stroke, stroke.

Isthat land ahead

or amisty mirage?

Doesa mirage or miracle lie before me?

 

Alas,I can read a sign upon the land:

“Warning!COVID 19.

Takedetour.”

 

Backstroke,backstroke,

over,

butterflystroke, butterfly stroke--

backto the Sea of Memories,

backto the Life rhyme

overwhich I have 

creativecontrol.

 

session: August 27, 2020

 

 

_______________________________________________


-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: <http://bluegrasspals.com/pipermail/group2/attachments/20200830/ef6c307a/attachment.html>