[Critique Group 2] October's meeting

[Joan Myles]

Dear Friends,

Thank you for another wonderful discussion on all things poetic. I am
always surprised by the depth of our discussions, and always inspired.

Here are the basics of my comments:

Brad:
This is my favorite of your poems thus far. I suggest a few words following
Holy Day of Litha to clue readers in a bit more. Also, you might take
seemed out of the line about the endless green to foreshadow the magic
coming up next. I love the pony, it's feel of freedom, connection with
Native Americans and other earth-centered traditions, the sense of the
essence of childhood. I connect strongly with this one.

Leonard:
Very timely piece. I too feel the connection between Hitler and Trump, the
danger of not acting, the danger of acting. The image of twisting
Democracy's soul is striking, denoting the pain and distress of our times.
And your final use of trumps corruption says it all. I'm with you!

Val:
A very  emotionally accessible piece. The words are simple, and convey much
that is beyond words. The stanza about brown leaves scattering...like
memories contrasts with the endurance  of love. I was instantly touched
when reading, and each time after.

Alice:
Another magical piece with angels, and now butterflies--both images I
especially like. Love the list of waiting, the varied moments in our lives,
the space of anticipation, and wonder. As for the final stanze, I think it
can be omitted with no problem, or may serve better as an explanatory note
as Brad suggested. I would also suggest omitting the questions, and going
directly from the list or waiting moments right to the hands and waiting
heart. A lovely piece.

Blessings to all, and happy writing!
Joan
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