[Critique Group 2] Leonard's comments on Val's poem

[tuchyner5 at aol.com]

This  pieceis a brilliant treatise of how opposites are woven together.  



Opposites are sometimes indistinguishable  from each other, 



but seem completely at odds at other times.   



More description of what I see below. 




 



 


Life waters swirl and change,



This first line sets up the direction of this poembetter than the title.   



It is talking about the capricious nature of  life. 



You could have said that life swirls and changes, 



but waters is much better.  



Water is much more sensory. 



You feel it immediately. 



It is soothing, or it is numbing. 



It supports or drowns . 




 


comfort likesweet morning sun,



Here is the first place where light and waterare  connected. 



The Sun is the giver of light and warmth. 



Warmth is the purveyor  of comfort andpeace.  



Unless, of course, warmt turns to  too hot. 



Then it scalds, boils or gives you sunstroke.  



Both sources of warmth are capricious. 



But in the poem, only the possitive aspects oflight are mentioned.  



Not so with water.




 


holding us in itswarm lullabye.




 


Life waters turnblazing blue cold,



Blazing blue cold puts  two expremes of heat  together in a fascinating way.  



Blue cold is extremely cold for humans. 



Yet blazing means  really hot.  



Again this duality weds the Sun or light withwater. 



Yet fire and water are polar opposites.




 


grasping usaround chest and frantic heart,



chilling ourbreathing.




 


Life water,thick-black as midnight,



paralyzes, icystream keeps us gasping.



Again, we have opposites.  



Here we have ‘life’ water killing us.  



It’s like saying life can be deadly.  



We know that life always ends in its opposite. 



Yet death creates a struggle and yearning forlife.  



Without death, life would be dissasterous; atleast on this planet. 




 



 


longing for asprinkle of hope light.



Sprinkle is mispelled.  Did you mean to say hopelight?  



Or, are you saying hopeful light? 



Or, hope-light? 



Here, the opposition of light to water  is emphasized. 



Light is what offers hope against the chillingwater.




 


Life waters,brilliant and gentle,



Here water takes on the quality of brilliance. 



That is a quality of light.




 


caress ourwounds, purify dreams,



sooth the ravagesof storm



as seeping goldenlight clears any doubt.




 


So in the end, light and water are  friends again, 



working towards the same ends  of clarity of the ultimate goodness of life. 



Yin and yang come together as one. 




 



 



 

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