[Critique Group 2] Leonar's comments on Alice's poem

[tuchyner5 at aol.com]

I love this.  



I feel your sense  of relief andrejuvination.  



Almost as good as being back  homeagain  in Indiana.   



Great use of metaphor.  



I really love  the invocation scene where  Sorcerer Alice invokes the creative spirits. 



Creative Cabin in the Concrete Wood



 



poem by Alice Jane-Marie Massa



 



 



Company-imposedhiatus



frommy writing world--



frommy creative cabin in the Concrete Wood.



Interesting concept of a concretewood.  I love it. 



 



Dreamlessdays drift by



asthe staycation continues



By dreamless day I think you mean you arenot free to dream up things to write about. 



Or even to think of creativepossibilities.




 


inthe creativeless morass.



Powerful, descriptive line.



 



Firstcommandment of writers:



Thou shall not blame company



forlack of creativity 



norfor absence of creative activity.



 Why not? It seems reasonable to me.



Companyleaves!



Complaints--begone!



Compliancesand compromises--no more.



Come,Muses, come to my



Computerland!



Come,come--welcome



componentsof creativity.



 These lines are like a witche’s callingupon the spirits  to come.



Rollup that red carpet!



Rollup that rolltop desk.



 



Rollout the creativity dough;



forminto a pliable ball.



Then,kneed, kneed, kneed.



Brushthe dough with olive oil,



andlet rise, gloriously rise.



Great metaphor. Then you can cook up astory.



 



Riseby the hearth



ofmy creative cabin in the Concrete Wood.



Rise,and fill the cabin



withthat magical and unforgettable fragrance



ofcreative growth.



 



A-a-ah,I am back home;



Ipeacefully sip



theslender, fluted glass of solitude.



Alone at last. You and your muses. 



Myplume dips



intothe inkwell of "all-is-well" once more.



Inthe wicker rocker beside the hearth,



Itake the risen dough from the bowl



andresume my gifted work



as Inow nestle



intomy creative cabin in the Concrete Wood,



withgratefully only a Black Labrador at my artistic side.



 


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