[Critique Group 2] About my piece

[Joan Myles]

Dear Friends,

I listened to part of the Group 2 recording from Thursday. Thank you so
much for the time and care you  took while wrestling with my poem. I feel
so honored and privileged to be part of this group!

Here are a few of my thoughts about the piece:


Between You and Me

*I usually title things with difficulty, after writing the poem. This title
is both a description of what follows, and a call for confidentiality, that
this is not something I want to proclaim to the world, but must tell
someone because I so deeply feel it.

Between one man and another man

Space trembles under the weight of expectation.

*There is always some kind of expectation in a relationship. And even
though I don’t understand what shape expectation takes between men, it is
still there.

Between women there is only judgment,

And it  fills all space.

*Speaking from my own experience, women judge women. And society,
unfortunately, still judges women differently than men.

Like  wind rattles a gate,

Judgment pushes past a woman’s  skin

*Thinking of a metalgate , or a wooden gate that rattles and moves in the
wind, rattles and shakes and can’t keep the wind from moving past and
through it, an unwelcome intruder.

And seeps into her blood’s flow

Until all she is puffs up and up.

*Until her very life source absorbs the poison of judgment, and she falls
prey to it, even believing it for herself, for the women she encounters.

Until every word she speaks

Speaks like a gavel pounding.

*And she becomes its mouthpiece without even knowing it, judging herself
and other women.

Until  the pounding is her own heart beating,

And she yields to the hammer.

*When will it end, how can anyone resist what the centuries have brought
upon women, what we continue to bring upon ourselves?

Yields

Like the precious metal she aspires to be.

*And all anyone wants is to be valued, to be uniquely ourselves, to be
precious to those we encounter, to ourselves.

 ***

I hope this helps. If you have other concerns or questions, just let me
know. I plan to listen to the rest of the recording sometime today.

Wishing you sweetness and light,
Joan
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