[Critique Group 2] 1070-word fictional submission for October 31 critique session

[Alice Massa]

*Taking a Knee on Halloween*

by Alice Jane-Marie Massa

A gasp echoed from both sides of the stadium where two elite NFL teams 
were playing on a rain-soaked field on the eve of Halloween.With a voice 
touched by sincere concern, the sportscaster announced, "Darren Roland 
is down.He has sustained an injury to his right knee.The quarterback of 
the Zephyrs is now being carried off the field.We will have an update on 
his condition as soon as possible."

Drifting in and out of consciousness, Darren Roland tried to recall if 
his parents and girlfriend were in the stands.He thought that they were 
watching the game on television; he was worried about their reaction to 
watching his being carried off the field.Then, the pain in his knee 
surpassed his fuzzy thoughts.

A short while later, Roland realized that he was in an ambulance--his 
first experience with being in the back of an ambulance. The ride was 
rougher than he ever expected.

"Can you tell me what your name is?"

Despite requiring more effort than usual, he managed to respond in a 
raspy voice, "Darren Scott Roland."

"Do you know what today is?"

"Sure, it's Halloween."The quarterback could feel that someone had cut 
off part of his uniform so that the EMTs and team doctor could do a 
preliminary examination of his bleeding

and swelling knee. Darren was grateful to feel all four of his 
extremities, to feel the pain.

Suddenly, Darren saw another face--not in medical attire, but in an Army 
uniform.For a few seconds, the quarterback thought he was seeing a 
ghost--the ghost of his grandfather who had been killed in action, in 
Vietnam, long before Darren was born.

"Gramps, is that you?What are you doing here?" Roland asked aloud.

The ghost drew closer to his grandson and replied, "Yes, I have been 
waiting for this moment to talk with you."

"Are you a ... ghost ... or an angel?"

The EMT interrupted, "Mr. Roland, are you with me?"

"I passed, but I did not pass on yet because I had to meet you 
tonight.No, I am not an angel yet.You may think of me as a ghost, but I 
am referred to as a spirit.You may just think of me as your grandfather 
who has come to set your knee straight, to set you straight," the spirit 
began to explain.

Darren blinked his eyes several times and tried to block the image of 
his grandfather's uniformed."ETA 7:07," the younger Roland heard an EMT say.

"Do you see my grandfather here?He is wearing his Army uniform."

"I understand that none of your family was at the game tonight.I am sure 
someone will be at the hospital with you later," the team doctor said.

Darren's grandfather continued:"What's this about taking a knee?You know 
where you were taught to genuflect--at church.You put down one knee to 
genuflect, to show your reverence and belief in God as you entered 
church.Then, after genuflecting, you put both of your little knees on 
the kneeler to pray.You kneel at church; you stand for your country and 
the flag while the National Anthem is played and sung.Your family taught 
you better than ..."

"Wait, Gramps, now is not the time and place for that," Darren remarked 
aloud.

"Mr. Roland, Mr. Roland, can you hear me?" the EMT asked again.

"No, Darren, you and your teammates have the time and place all wrong.I 
thought my grandson would always want to stand to show respectfor his 
grandpa and all who fought for that flag and for our freedoms.I thought 
I would never have to intervene as ..."

Darren more loudly interrupted: "You did it!You caused my accident!How 
could you ruin my career like this?"

"I am not ruining your career:I am here to save your career, to save 
your life.Oh, I can see to it that you make a miraculously speedy 
recovery if you recover your senses.You need to go to the VA Hospital..."

"You must know that I am not a veteran: they are taking me to St. 
Anthony's."

"I know where you are going now; however, after your surgery and early 
recovery, you need to visit the VA Hospital so that some of those 
patients can tell you how much they would like to stand for /The 
Star-Spangled Banner/.Some of them emotionally and spiritually stand, 
but they cannot physically stand.If you want to make a difference, want 
to be an instrument of change--you can begin at the VA Hospital.Then, 
you can go to other places where you can really make a difference:at 
homes and playgrounds in the inner city, at the Boys' and Girls' Clubs, 
at the Y, at town meetings, at the Statehouse, at ..."

"Gramps, I do some of that."

"Not nearly enough, I assure you.You may have taken a knee for the last 
time on Halloween, but I am here to make 100 per cent positive that you 
do not take a knee on Veterans' Day and that you be a leader so that no 
one else on your team takes a knee on Veterans' Day.By November 11, you 
will be out on that field; and with a pair of crutches, you will stand 
for our country, our flag, our National Anthem, our active military 
force, and our veterans.God bless them all."

"I'll be a leader:I will stand."

The EMT insisted, "No, Mr. Roland, you cannot stand now."

Several hours later, Darren awoke in the hospital room with his head 
still spinning and his knee still aching.With in a few seconds, he 
realized that Coach McGuffey was at the bedside."Coach, I'm sorry ..."

"That fiasco on the field was not your fault.I already watched the 
video, and you ..."

"No, Coach, I am sorry that I have not been standing for the Anthem.You 
cannot see him, I suppose; but my grandfather--who was fatally wounded 
in Vietnam-- is here with me.His spirit is guiding me to do what is 
truly right.As soon as possible, I want to talk to the team about other 
ways we can try to initiate positive changes, about some changes we have 
to make, about standing for our National Anthem--especially on Veterans' 
Day."

number of words:1070

October 21, 2017/revised October 22, 2017

end of submission for critique session on October 31, 2017

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