[Critique Group 1] Leonard's comments re DeAnna's piece

[leonard tuchyner]

Beautiful.

This poem is full of internal ryme, and r sounds,

which I like.

I tried but can’t find any flaws. Cudo.





DeAnna sub for Augusst 23

Forever Mama

By DeAnna Quietwater Noriega



>From the moment she hears that first cry,

Her life is changed forever.

She will walk the floor for hours,

Cradling a fevered child.



Once she has become someone's mother,

When the umbillical's been cut,

A piece of her heart starts beating,

in the control of another.



She will hold a fussy baby while,

Her dinner grows cold on her plate.

Though she is too tired to eat,

She will prepare his birthday cake.



She will toss restlessly the first night,

Her child sleeps away from her care.

Wait up until she hears his key,

In the lock when her teen comes home.



She will call out as he races by,

It's cold --Don't forget your sweater!

She'll worry he's not taking care

When he is grown and far away.



Be she in her teens or near ninety,

She will never be just herself.

She will sacrifice for her child,

Will forever be a mother.







DeAnna Quietwater Noriega

Cell: 573-544-3511

Email: dqnoriega at gmail.com

Author of Fifty Years of Walking with Friends

https://www.dldbooks.com/dqnoriega/



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