[Critique Group 1] Leonard's comments on Martia's sub

[leonard tuchyner]

This is very well written.

You did such a good job on it,

I don’t know whether it is fiction,

or an  autobiography.

If there is anyway to improve onit ,

I don’t know what it would be.



Cudos.

I don’t think  your not using paragraph  brakes makes any difference.

It flows nicely.





Martia sub for August 23





It’s been 50 years since my high school graduation. How can that be?
In the blink of an eye, half a century of my life has transpired.
After high school, I completed four years of college and earned a
journalism degree. I moved from Colorado to western New York to take
my first job as a small town newspaper reporter. I met and married a
local deputy sheriff. After four years of reporting, I was hired as
the Communications Manager for a national office furniture
manufacturer in the area. I sported high heels and traveled on an
expense account to showrooms in Los Angeles, Houston, Chicago, and New
York City. I divorced the controlling cop. I was promoted and got a
nice raise; I was sexually assaulted by the security guard at my
workplace when I went in to work alone on a Saturday. I battled PTSD,
quit my job, and moved back home with my parents. The guard was
sentenced to 12 years in prison. Once in Colorado, I discovered I was
pregnant-not as a result of the rape, but because I stopped taking the
birth control pill after the trauma and then I sought solace in the
arms of a trusted friend the night before I left New York. I was
fighting to recover; I lacked the resources to raise a child; I had an
abortion. Once again, I moved, this time from Colorado to northern
California. I was hired by another furniture manufacturer. Coming from
rural New York, I struggled to adjust to the urban lifestyle in the
San Francisco Bay Area. I met and married the nephew of my employer.
Even though my husband worked for his relatives, they laid him off
shortly before our wedding. We trimmed the guest list; I quit the
company; I launched my own desktop publishing business; I worked
part-time for an advertising agency. Soon, I gave birth to a daughter.
I managed to build up my business to provide a full-time income
allowing me to quit the ad agency. I gave birth again to a second
daughter. Ultimately, we moved from the bay area back to Colorado
where a three-bed, two-bath house was way more Affordable. My husband
didn’t adjust to the move. He drank too much and couldn’t keep a job.
I divorced again. For the next 20 years, I raised my daughters as a
single parent, without child support. I held yard sales to pay for
their back-to-school supplies and clothes. My progressive vision loss
forced me to stop driving. I abandoned my business after 10 years,
unable to discern the print on the page. I applied for Social Security
Disability Insurance. Eventually, I went back to work in the public
school system, providing me time off when my daughters were out of
school for the winter and summer school breaks. I dated now and then;
one of the men I dated sexually assaulted my older, then
nine-year-old, Daughter. My younger daughter battled other demons. Her
mental health issues required medication and long-term residential
treatment. Both of my children fought hard to recover. I managed to
hold onto the house and see both of them graduate from high school.
Dare I say it? I met another man and married again-once my children
were living out of the home independently. At age 60, I retired with
reasonable security for the first time in my life. I began caring for
my aging parents-they succumbed in their 90s. During that time, my
older daughter graduated from college and married, gifting me with two
grandchildren. My younger daughter works (mostly) steadily and seems
happily settled with a female partner. My third husband is a grumpy,
hard-of-hearing, old man depressed following quadruple bypass surgery
two years ago-but this one’s a keeper. Thanks to a small inheritance
from my parents, we’re remodeling that house I managed to hold onto.
I’m planning to age-in-place at home. In one week, I’ll gather with my
high school friends to celebrate our 50th high school reunion. As an
“old” woman with my second guide dog for the blind and a grumpy
husband by my side, I’ll make light of my life’s journey. Likely,
conversations will be shallow. I’m not sure I want my school friends
to know all the trauma and turmoil I’ve endured over half a century.
On the other hand, will they be transparent about the challenges
they’ve faced in their own lives?



# # #



_______________________________________________
Group1 mailing list
Group1 at bluegrasspals.com
https://bluegrasspals.com/mailman/listinfo/group1



It’s been 50 years since my high school graduation. How can that be?
In the blink of an eye, half a century of my life has transpired.
After high school, I completed four years of college and earned a
journalism degree. I moved from Colorado to western New York to take
my first job as a small town newspaper reporter. I met and married a
local deputy sheriff. After four years of reporting, I was hired as
the Communications Manager for a national office furniture
manufacturer in the area. I sported high heels and traveled on an
expense account to showrooms in Los Angeles, Houston, Chicago, and New
York City. I divorced the controlling cop. I was promoted and got a
nice raise; I was sexually assaulted by the security guard at my
workplace when I went in to work alone on a Saturday. I battled PTSD,
quit my job, and moved back home with my parents. The guard was
sentenced to 12 years in prison. Once in Colorado, I discovered I was
pregnant-not as a result of the rape, but because I stopped taking the
birth control pill after the trauma and then I sought solace in the
arms of a trusted friend the night before I left New York. I was
fighting to recover; I lacked the resources to raise a child; I had an
abortion. Once again, I moved, this time from Colorado to northern
California. I was hired by another furniture manufacturer. Coming from
rural New York, I struggled to adjust to the urban lifestyle in the
San Francisco Bay Area. I met and married the nephew of my employer.
Even though my husband worked for his relatives, they laid him off
shortly before our wedding. We trimmed the guest list; I quit the
company; I launched my own desktop publishing business; I worked
part-time for an advertising agency. Soon, I gave birth to a daughter.
I managed to build up my business to provide a full-time income
allowing me to quit the ad agency. I gave birth again to a second
daughter. Ultimately, we moved from the bay area back to Colorado
where a three-bed, two-bath house was way more Affordable. My husband
didn’t adjust to the move. He drank too much and couldn’t keep a job.
I divorced again. For the next 20 years, I raised my daughters as a
single parent, without child support. I held yard sales to pay for
their back-to-school supplies and clothes. My progressive vision loss
forced me to stop driving. I abandoned my business after 10 years,
unable to discern the print on the page. I applied for Social Security
Disability Insurance. Eventually, I went back to work in the public
school system, providing me time off when my daughters were out of
school for the winter and summer school breaks. I dated now and then;
one of the men I dated sexually assaulted my older, then
nine-year-old, Daughter. My younger daughter battled other demons. Her
mental health issues required medication and long-term residential
treatment. Both of my children fought hard to recover. I managed to
hold onto the house and see both of them graduate from high school.
Dare I say it? I met another man and married again-once my children
were living out of the home independently. At age 60, I retired with
reasonable security for the first time in my life. I began caring for
my aging parents-they succumbed in their 90s. During that time, my
older daughter graduated from college and married, gifting me with two
grandchildren. My younger daughter works (mostly) steadily and seems
happily settled with a female partner. My third husband is a grumpy,
hard-of-hearing, old man depressed following quadruple bypass surgery
two years ago-but this one’s a keeper. Thanks to a small inheritance
from my parents, we’re remodeling that house I managed to hold onto.
I’m planning to age-in-place at home. In one week, I’ll gather with my
high school friends to celebrate our 50th high school reunion. As an
“old” woman with my second guide dog for the blind and a grumpy
husband by my side, I’ll make light of my life’s journey. Likely,
conversations will be shallow. I’m not sure I want my school friends
to know all the trauma and turmoil I’ve endured over half a century.
On the other hand, will they be transparent about the challenges
they’ve faced in their own lives?



# # #



_______________________________________________
Group1 mailing list
Group1 at bluegrasspals.com
https://bluegrasspals.com/mailman/listinfo/group1