[Critique Group 1] cleora's March comments

[sitting.duck at springmail.com]

Sally
found extra blank lines again between first and 2nd line
I think my email may be adding some.
I like the description of the woolen mittens. Pulled so they are old and well worn.
Fickle March weather.
I can feel the chill as we leave the warmth of the shop.
brave hyacinths are facing the cold
had to read the last line to get it.
very nice.
This is full of senses. I can feel what is happening each step of the way.
Leonard
Didn't see anything I would change.
very nice.
Marsha
I haven't heard "woke mob"
Didn't understand what it was about even after reading your explanation.
We can only know what people do and speak.
I don't think we should assume we know what their motivation is.
One thing that concerns me about some of the things I've been hearing is that I think it may be causing an increase in violence against other people. Especially those who are the vulnerable members of our society.
It is one thing to make students aware of the bad as well as the good parts of our history. It is another to do it in such a way that it causes them to feel bad about themselves or to provoke them to violence against others.
We need to think carefully about how we present this information.
DeAnna
We decided to just send our comments rather than critique your piece on the recording.
Is the chair smiling?
If I remember correctly, by the time you were in college, you had no vision.
How do you know he bowed, and was smiling?
I don't doubt that you did, but how did you know?
I think the word with before the Missouri Council of the Blind needs to be taken out.
list used three times close together.
15% passive sentences
I think you are very brave to undertake doing something like this in an area you are basically unfamiliar with.
With so much meanness going on in the world, it is nice to know that there are still people willing to help.