[Critique Group 1] Critiques for 12-28-22

[Deanna Noriega]

Marcia

The Blessings of Blindness

Well crafted with a light touch of irony and humor. I have also written a
couple of pieces on this theme, but I am not sure where the market is for
this sort of piece. Perhaps one of the disability magazines or even our own
Magnets and Ladders since it isn't a how to article but more a reflections
piece. I have no suggestions for changes you should make.


Cleora

Dusty's Christmas Wish

How did you get the soot out of his feathers? Santa is magical, but even he
got soot all over his clothing in the original poem, except for his snowy
white beard, Hmm. I guess cockateels are small enough not to brush the sides
of the chimney and of course they don't wear stockings. Santa claws and
Santa Paws take care of cats and dogs, but maybe Santa daws handles pet
birds Christmas treats.


Leonard

Where Did That Word Go?

Curious if you had a reason for ending your poem with rhyming couplets when
the rest of the poem was not rhymed.

I appreciated your gentle humor. I think we can all sympathize when
something simply refuses to appear from our mental filing system. For me, it
is likely to be a particular doctor's name or dates of great grandchildren's
births.


Sally
TAMSIN'S PRAYER

Your word choices were excellent and the meter and rhymes followed the
pattern of the original poem very well. The poem is also poignant in that I
remember that Tamsin spent a time as a shelter resident before you adopted
her near the beginning of our great time of isolation due to the pandemic.
No suggestions for changes, it was perfect. 

 

 

 

DeAnna Quietwater Noriega

Cell: 573-544-3511

Email:  <mailto:dqnoriega at gmail.com> dqnoriega at gmail.com

Author of Fifty Years of Walking with Friends

https://www.dldbooks.com/dqnoriega/

 

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