[Critique Group 1] cleora's august notes

[sitting.duck at springmail.com]

Sally
It prompts in me a desire to write something to repair a shattered sorrow filled heart.
no changes to recommend. Good job.
Much feeling in a few words as always.
I wish I could somehow reach out and heal that shattered & sorrow filled heart.
Marsha
Is she relieved about the tabloids not mentioning her, or about arriving in LaGuardia ?
I can see you sprinting ahead to snare the cab, while a disappointed person stands nearby.
Twinkled on and off like fireflies is a good description
but I wonder if you can think of something else since this description is used so often in writing.
indeed extravagant. I think Motel 6 was $6 a night at that time.
charged on like a race horse.
another phrase that could qualify as a cliche
I'm wondering why she called her mother.
She obviously didn't really want to talk to her.
14% passive sentences
Grade level 7.9
Leonard
all I can think of is a fight between husband and wife and a forgiving wife.
I think I'm in way over my head with this poem.
DeAnna
Good useful piece
I just turned 71 last saturday the 13th.
I've been thinking and looking for information about getting a guide dog.
Does it make sense?
Can I care for a dog?
What if I don't do much walking?
What could a dog do for me?
Now with covid I get most of my groceries delivered, so getting food for the dog is not that much of a concern for me, but what about cleaning up after the dog?
Can I just let him in my back yard, and not worry about it?
What about using the dog with a caregiver?
Now, I use the caregiver as a sighted guide. Would it interfere if I used the dog instead and the caregiver did the driving and other things?
I'm told I have to have good orientation. I've only begun to understand what that means.
What if I get turned around? How do I know that I am correcting the dog for a mistake instead of it being me that is making the mistake?

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