[Critique Group 1] Marcia's ramblings for May

[Marcia Wick]

Dear friends,

Sorry to disappoint again - I am sending some disjointed ramblings for this
month, for what it's worth. This group is one of the things that keeps me
going, so don't give up on me! In addition to my husband's heart surgery and
my dad's endless journey, my youngest daughter has kidney issues, my oldest
daughter had a mental health breakdown, and I came down with shingles on my
face - what I needed like a hole in the head! My husband says I'm bouncing
back.it feels more like crawling. Anyway, here are two incomplete ramblings
to review:

 

What do you write when the words won't come? When keeping up with life
precludes pausing to process? When time is stolen by dementia, heart
disease, and depression? Moments lost heap into weeks and years. Breath by
breath, we live in suspended animation. The looking glass reveals a past
unlike the present. Future plans bounce in limbo like popcorn pushed by air,
never landing long enough to taste. 

 

The Keywords of My Life

 

We use keywords to search the internet for trending news, recipes, lost
friends, and financial advice. Invisible algorithms build a unique
personality profile based on our queries. If a data analyst were to review
the keywords I used to hunt for answers to questions I've pondered of late,
my search history might reveal a troubled mind, perhaps the thoughts of a
psychotic killer, a child abuser, a demented elder, a desperate parent, an
exhausted caregiver, a weary soul with a tortured past.

 

I've searched for methods to commit murder, drugs used to control children
with mental health disorders, end-of-life visions, heart disease, kidney
failure, addiction, suicidal ideation, canine cancer, caregiver burnout, and
the rising costs of health care.

 

On more optimistic days, I've "googled" bathroom renovation ideas, pruning
tips for lilac bushes, the benefits of mindfulness, dog-friendly hiking
trails, and instructional videos for loom knitting.

 

Meanwhile, I research treatments for anxiety, depression, agoraphobia, and
migraines. During the pandemic, I've delved into the implications of immune
disorders, vaccination resistance, the politics of mask wearing, and
conspiracy theories. Nothing upbeat there.

 

 

 

 

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