[Critique Group 1] Cleora's June notes

[sitting.duck at springmail.com]

[comments for Marsha
Goodness. What a nightmare.
perhaps feelings that past decisions haven't been the best or fear of not being able to measure up to what is expected
Feeling of being left behind because of trying to take care of other things.
Didn't really see the connection to the Movie "back To The Future"
unless the dream is referring to past decisions or happenings.

comments for DeAnna
old fashioned idea of 100 strokes to make hair pretty
the stars ended up at the end of the first line in my copy.
I think maybe they were supposed to be a separator?
conflicts of desire to be pretty and help with things to be done
takes the care to do a good job at work
don't know what the significance of Mr. Woodruff from church is
Maybe more transition between events to help the reader understand their significance
this seems to be an excerpt out of a larger story

[comments for Leonard
I could relate to this piece as it is similar to an experience my brother had.
He like you, in this piece, grieved for the loss of that dog long past the time the dog would have still been alive.
The pain of loss and not knowing.
Unable to achieve closure
not that it should be removed, 
but unfind is not a word

[comments for Sally
if she could neither read nor write
what is meant by her managing the farms accounts
Tended to sheep and chickens, 
I feel like the word "to" in "to cheep" can be omitted
the phrase and played matchmaker right after tending sheep & chickens
made me smile
This gives me a warm familiarity with this woman as if I know her.
vote for pros