[Critique Group 1] Leonard's comments on DeAnna's piece

[tuchyner5 at aol.com]

Verry nice story.   Lisa still let them keep the baskets meant for them in the morning.Why did she do that? Wouldn’t  it havebeen better if their Mom never found out about it?

Busted!

By DeAnna Quietwater Noriega

Lisa glanced at the illuminated clock face on thekitchen wall. It was two A.M. Easter morning. She followed the faint sounds ofwhispers and giggles in to the living room. A feeble flashlight beam skippedover the furniture briefly backlighting and illuminating two small pajama cladfigures. 

               “Ryan! Michael! What are you doing out of bed,” Lisa hissed. Mike dropped theflashlight and it rolled across the worn carpet. 

               “Oh, you scared me! We were just checking for Easter baskets.”

               “You guys are nuts! It’s practically the middle of the night. You haven’t evengiven the Easter Bunny time to make his deliveries. Get back to bed before youwake mama.”

               The two small boys trudged back down the hall to their room. Lisa picked up theflashlight and clicked it off. She sat down in the old armchair to think. Whatif there were no Easter baskets this year? Money was pretty tight since daddydidn’t come back from Korea.Mama worked two jobs, but she wasn’t paid much because the kinds of jobs she couldget near the reservation didn’t pay very well. Last night after she came homefrom the truck stop, she was so tired; she accidently dunked an egg in to hercoffee cup instead of the cup of Easter egg dye! There were only two dozenbrightly colored eggs in the ash split basket grandpa had woven sitting in themiddle of the kitchen table

What is an ash split basket?

.Maybe that was all the Easter they could expect. . Lisa leaned back and reachedbehind her to tug the afghan around her shoulders. Something was tucked underit! Carefully she lifted it away. Three small baskets nestled against the sideof the chair in the corner. 

Softly she called, “Mike! Ryan! Come see!” Herbrothers scampered back in to the room. Their small faces lit up withexcitement as their big sister aimed the feeble beam of the flashlight at thebaskets. One held a pink marshmallow rabbit, one had a blue marshmallow chickenand the third had a yellow duck. 

“Pink is for girls Lisa, Mike’s favorite color isblue and I think the ducky is mine cause I have Ducky Lucky my stuffed duck tosleep with,” whispered Ryan.

“I think you are right, but you guys better takeyour baskets back to bed,” Replied Lisa. She gently lifted up the basket withthe pink bunny in it.

Lisa slipped quietly back in to the bed room sheshared with mama. She placed the Easter basket on the night stand on her sideof the bed, and crept back beneath the quilts. Then she heard a series of rapidbangs. She jumped up again and raced to her brothers' room.

Lisa flicked on the light switch. Ryan crouched atthe foot of his bed desperately trying to stem the flow of jellybeans as theyescaped from the torn cellophane that had held the colorful display in thestore bought baskets. They streamed off the bed and landed like machine gunfire on the hardwood floor. Mike sat on his side of the bed in horror as hisjellybeans also began to cascade to join Ryan’s doubling the rapid fire noise.Mama appeared in the doorway rubbing sleep from her tired eyes. 

Lisa collapsed in a helpless fit of giggles. Mamaknelt down to begin gathering up the renegade candy. She said, “Ten secondrule, let’s get this all collected in my lap and I will make sure it is clean.You can eat one thing and then it is back to bed for all of you midnight marauders.It sounded like we were being invaded by desperadoes with all the gunfire.”

Thethree Swan children scrambled to collect the run-away candy. There would beplenty of time in the morning to begin the serious business of trading colorsto get the most of each person’s favorite flavors.

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