[Critique Group 1] Leonard's comments on DeAnna's piece

[tuchyner5 at aol.com]

|

 
|  

 

  |

  
|

 
|  

 

  |

 
|  

 

  |

  
|

 
|  

 

  |

 
|  

 

  |

  
|

 
|  

 

  |

 
|  

 

  |

  
|

 
|  

 

  |

 
|  

 

  |

 
453words



 



SnowAngels



ByDeAnna Quietwater Noriega



Lisa tucked the sleeping puppy into theoutgrown fleece lined slipper Ryan had donated to the cause.  His tummywas round and hard filled with milk.  She checked the time on the alarmclock, in two hours, it would be Mike's turn to feed him.  Lisa looked outof the window to where her brothers were playing.  They had been flingingthemselves down onto the untouched snow, moving their arms and legs back andforth to make angel impressions in the soft whiteness left by last night'ssnowfall.  Ryan lay perfectly still with his eyes closed.  Lisawatched him for five minutes.  Surely, he hadn't dropped off to sleep inthe cold?  she slipped on her new coat and sped outside.



"Ryan! What are you doing?" shecalled.



Her six-year old brother stirred to lookup at her out of large, solemn brown eyes.  



"I just wondered what it would feellike if mama had decided I was too little to keep and put me out in thesnow," he said.




 


This is  funny, ccuete  and to the point. 



Lisa bent to pull Ryan to his feet.



"Don't be silly!  Mama wouldnever do such a thing!  Little or not, mama loves you as much as she lovesme and Mike. Someday, you will probably grow to be bigger than me. All babiesstart out little, but boys usually get bigger than girls do.  Now comeinside and get warmed up," his sister scolded.  "I need you totake your turn feeding the puppy you know.  Mike and I can't do itall."   I reckon we'll have to keep you even if you are just arunt."




 


She  tels him that he is loved. 



That he will never be abandoned. 



That he has responsibilities.  



That he has to carry hisshare of the load.



As her three children trooped into thekitchen, Mary Swan slid a pan of hot biscuits from the oven.  Beef stewand biscuits wasn't a ham or turkey, but her budget wouldn't stretch to muchmore than the stew meat and at least it was filling.



The writers describes a healthy diet, done with little  money.




 


Lisa helped Ryan strip off his wet mittensand coat.  She explained to mama what he had been doing.



Mary looked at the three earnest flushedfaces of her children.  She reached to pull them into a group hug.           



"there will always be plenty of roomfor all of you in my heart," she said.  "Don't you know thatlove stretches?  The more people you hold in your heart, the bigger itgets.  Little or big, there is always enough room for all, even one littleno account puppy with a black patch round his left eye.



The mom gives a wise piece of folk lore. The stretching heart.



  Now get yourselves washed up forsupper 



while it is nice and hot.  That puppyof yours will be hollering for his before you know it, so, you'll want to haveyours done by then."



 The Mom, who is the sourceof the love and sustenance  says the samething. 


-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: <http://bluegrasspals.com/pipermail/group1/attachments/20200512/9e17931b/attachment.html>