[Critique Group 1] notes for may critique

[sitting.duck at springmail.com]

Marsha
A nice pleasing ending to a sad story.
This tells a lot about how your family works, or doesn't work, together.
Even with this miserable start you didn't give up your dream.
The teachers were interesting.
They tried, but the second was better at identifying why you were having trouble.

Deanna
The part about her working two jobs, and work near the reservation not paying much, seems out of place here.
If this is part of a larger work, the reader already knows the economic situation of the family.
Why bring it up again? From this and other sections, they always find a way to have the celebration or holiday.
Why not let that be the major focus?
A nice memory.
Did anyone grow or learn from this event?

Leonard
Don't know what to think of this.
The birds I've  observed have made no effort to hide their affairs.
strolling with my dog, barny
named not necessary
two lone geese
maybe lone could be left out
What do the ducks have to do with this?
 
Sally
Sentence that starts "Victory Gardens" thru me off. 
at first I thought it was a continuation of the previous list. 
Maybe a blank line between?
I like the comparison of mother with milky tea and reading
and daughter many years later putting on the kettle and reading.
I like the connection to family history with semalarities of todays generation.