[Critique Group 1] Sally's June comments for Cleora

[Sally Rosenthal]

Cleora, I thought this was funny when I first read it.  When I opened a
carrot cake a friend bought for me and discovered that I had opened it
upside down, I thought your piece was hilarious.  Yes, this really happened.
What are you hoping to do with this piece?  If you submit to a
blindness-related publication, it should work as it is.  However, sighted
people -and  perhaps some people who are blind - will  need to be told what
an I.D. Mate is and how it works.   I am wondering why you chose to write
this in the third person.  Getting rid of Jennifer and writing it in the
first-person would make it more effective. 

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