[Critique Group 1] Leonard's comments on cleora's sub for June

[tuchyner5 at aol.com]

Not sure if I sent this 


Verygood.   

Being male, I  don’t have the nescessary picture in my mindabout  how a pie is boxed. But for themost part I got the picture. Well done.  

Dialoguemagazine used to have a section that was about blind people  finding themselves in ridiclous situationswith a sudden a’ha  moment.

 

 

229 words

How To Open a Box

by c. s. boyd

 

Jennifer removeda pot pie from her freezer, and 

shot it with herID Mate to read the instructions.

What is an ID mate.

 

"Push in ontab and tear along perforation. 

Pull back top. 

Remove lidcompletely."

Jennifer foundthe tab,  

used herfingernail to help break the seal, 

and pulled up. 

She heard andfelt the satisfying tear along the left perforation, 

but the rightside was trying to come loose from the box.

She tried theother end pushing in hard 

while holding thebottom of the box.

The tab cameloose, 

and she pulled uphoping it would open correctly.

No such luck. 

Like the otherend, 

this side alsotried to come loose from the box.

She ran herfingers along the top. 

Searching for theperforations there,

To try to removethe lid that way.

Nothing. 

She went back tothe first end 

and exploredalong the right side for the line along which it should tear. 

She stuck herfinger in the opening 

to protect thepie 

What opening .

                           

while shecontinued to work with the box.

Wait. What'sthis. 

Suddenly sherealized.  The pie is upside down.

Well, , shemused,  

The instructionssaid nothing about turning the box over.

Feeling foolish,she righted it, 

and tried again. 

Amazing how wellthings work 

when you have theright perspective.

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