[Critique Group 1] Leonard's comments on Martia subg Aug

[tuchyner5 at aol.com]

DropDead

MarciaJ. Wick, The Write Sisters

August2020

WordCount:  446

 

Noteto readers:  Tongue-in-cheek, sort of. Some may find dark humoruncomfortable.

I think this must be a comment on how yourhusband  takes chances with his life  

ande how you disapprove of it.   It is very funny in a macabre way.  

I especially like the comment on hisbutterfly stroke death.  

Other swemmers could be surprised to finda butterfly floating dead in the water.  

Which part of this diatribe istongue-in-cheek?   

When you say that pay-back is a bitch, whois the victim , and who is  theperpetrator? 

It seems to me that the one who has totake care of him is the true victim.

 

Iwill be haunted for sure when he dies. I’ve wished him dead countless times inso many different ways. Today, perhaps he’ll collapse on his bike ride. Thereis smoke in the air from nearby wildfires, it’s getting into the hottest partof the afternoon, and he’s been coughing. Perhaps the exertion, the heat, thesmoke, and his high blood pressure will combine to do the trick. I’ll receive aphone call later in the evening explaining that my husband was found dead onthe side of the trail. Police may speculate the cyclist suffered a massiveheart attack.

 

Yesterday,I wished him dead when he went out shopping. I heard a news report about afatal car accident at an intersection near our home. He could have been at thatlocation at the precise time that an S.U.V. slammed into a light pole. The newsanchor wondered if the elderly driver killed at the scene had passed out behindthe wheel.

Do you think he is too old to be driving?

 

Theday before that, I imagined he had drowned. An avid swimmer, he fancies himselfcompetitive at age 74. He boasts about winning the gold medal in his agebracket while failing to mention he is the only competitor in the bracket.Perhaps, while trying to impress fellow swimmers by sprinting to improve hisbutterfly time, his heart will stop. One minute, he could be pumping his legsand ducking his head under water. The next minute, others might notice thebutterfly floating face down.

 

Whenthe roads were icy last week, I wondered (not worried) if the man I marriedwould meet his end by flying off a frozen bridge. Or, maybe the drive byshooter on the nightly news nailed him? That would explain why he was late fordinner.

That would explain why he was late fordinner. I guess it would.

Such a funny line.

 

Speakingof dinner, he could choke while shoveling food in his face, sitting one footaway from the kitchen television, blocking my access to the microwave, sink,and garbage. Hence, subjugated to another room, I won’t be in the kitchen whenhe begins flailing his arms around, unable to speak or breathe.

Good one. He shouldn’t shovel food down his mouth. 

 

Thenagain, it could conveniently occur if he were to fall and hit his head whileshoveling snow from the driveway. I could stumble upon him a few hours later onmy walk to the mailbox, but I’m afraid it would be too late. There would besome consolation, I suppose - I’ve heard that freezing to death isn’t the worstway to go.

 That’s a little unfair. Would you behappier if he left the snow on the  driveand mail box where you could stumble and fall?

Tonight,in his sleep, I wonder if he will succumb to a stroke. However, in that event,he could linger for some time, incapacitated and totally dependent upon me.Payback’s a bitch, I warn him.

 
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