[Critique Group 1] Leonard's commets re: Deana's Sept piece

[tuchyner5 at aol.com]

This story really touched my heart. I was angry att theman who stepped  on her. foot, and I feltheart broken at her separation from you and her job.  I would like to see this chapter expandedinto a story of its own, with dialogue and detail. Even though you’ve taken ajournalistic approach, you have managed to tweek emotions out of it. Think ofwhat you could do if you expanded your tools.

 

 

 Chapter 21

Phoebe

 

Phoebewas my third guide dog.  I was able to arrange to leave Angelyn with myin-laws in Phoenixand fly on to The Seeing Eye in March of 1979. It would had to be then, or putoff getting a guide dog for another couple of years. I was expecting our secondchild in August. 

 

Phoebewas a large black Labrador retriever.  She took her work very seriously. She refused to engage in anything so undignified as play.  If I threw aball for her, she looked down her long nose in disgust.  Her expressionclearly stated "I don't chase balls! I'm a guide dog!"  Nomatter when we started a route in training, she was determined to finishfirst.  She earned the name of Phoebe-the-flash from my classmates. Her work style was to weave in-and-out without pausing.  Once, we seemedto be doing a lot of that swivel motion as we went down a block in Morristown.  When wereached the corner, she stopped at the down curb. She began rearing up and downjoyously.  My trainer caught up and I asked what she was doing!  Helaughed and said, "I think she is saying yahoo! Yahoo! yahoo!" He continued, "She just worked a phenomenal block.  She skirted apainter on a ladder, an open man hole, and a drunk on crutches and she is soproud of herself."  I was four months pregnant   It wasMarch and the Morristownstreets were icy.  My instructor had not been Phoebe’s trainer. This happenswhen an instructor borrows a dog from another instructor’s string because it isa better match than any of the dogs in his own string. He also has the optionof drawing from dogs who have completed guide dog training but weren’t matchedin previous classes. Dogs who are held back to become breeders are kept up tospeed and may also go back into the pool of dogs waiting for a match. If noneof these dogs seem right for a student once they arrive in class, or the firstmatch in class isn’t working out, a dog just completing training may beused.   

 

Myinstructor was a little concerned about my safety, since I was in my firsttrimester of my pregnancy. I nearly gave him a heart attack, when I stepped offa curb, my feet went out from under me and I did a belly-flop, slid out intothe street and almost under a city bus!  As I scrambled up my horrifiedinstructor rushed to assist.  “Are you hurt?” he gasped.  

“No,”I replied, “But the light is about to change and we'd better run for it or werisk being flattened by that bus.”  

·       I’ll bet that wasn’t your actuall language.

Phoebewas unique because after being leash corrected for sniffing a pigeon, she didtraffic checks to allow those famous Morristownpigeons,  unsniffed of course, to pass by, before proceeding.  

·       I assume leash corrected simply means thatshe was pulled back from the pigeon she was sniffing.

 

           Five months later, Phoebe rose from her rug to touch my cheek with a concernedcold nose each time I felt a labor pain.  She learned to guide me while Itowed a stroller 

·       By store, I assume you mean a lot ofgroceries.

behind me, while Icarried an infant in a front pack.  The tougher the assignment, the fastershe wagged her tail.  I remember her joy when she guided me through aJapanese garden full of winding paths and little bridges. She was up for anyaedventure.

·       Adventure is misspelled.

 

Phoebe worked foronly four years. At a reception, a man stepped back on her paw. He shattered aclaw on her rightfront paw. It became infected and despite all the soaking,wrapping and anti-biotics, wouldn’t heal. My vet was forced to remove the toe.The infection continued and the vet sent samples to the university. Theyreported she had developed bone cancer in two more of her toes.  When herforeleg had to be amputated to save her from the ravages of the cancer, I feltthere was no choice.  We didn’t have the money to pay for the surgery sheneeded.  She had been a wonderful courageous friend. At home, she walked with the affected paw raised.  She continued walking on her painfulpaw whenever she was in harness.  I threw myself into finding Phoebe agood retirement home and made arrangements to make payments on the vet bills. Italked to everyone about needing to retire her. The mother of a child in myAngelyn’s preschool class had wanted a dog for her three young boys. Shethought a large dog would be the best choice for rough active boys. She dreadedhaving to housebreak a puppy. Although my girl would have continued to guidedespite the pain until she was too sick to work, she deserved a chance at ahappy career change and comfortable retirement. To date, this was my hardestretirement to go through. I dropped off her food dishes and rug at her new homeon the morning I took her in for the surgery. I brought her there straight fromher release from the vet’s office. She was swathed in bandages and groggy withpain medications. I accepted a cup of coffee and spent time explaining how totake care of her to her new family. It was painful to leave because she keptstaggering from her rug to lie with her head on my foot. I stayed away forseveral months. Finally, I attended a birthday party for one of the boys at acity park. Phoebe ran to place her head on my lap and vocalized for severalminutes with her broad head in my lap. She seemed to be trying to tell me abouther adventures since we had last been together.

The family told meabout how she won at a neighborhood pet dog event. She had worn sunglasses anda bikini and had done basic obedience things like sit, lie down and stay oncommand. She had kept the youngest child from leaving the front yard, and shestood guard between a scissor salesman and the children when he came into theyard. 

 

When the party cameto an end, I picked up the harness for my new guide dog and Phoebe thrust herhead through the yoke, offering to take up her role as guide dog, even on threelegs. Of course this wasn’t possible. She walked beside me back to where ourcar was parked next to her new family’s truck. She stood there looking back andforth until one of her boys called to her. She ran to jump into the truck. Shewas thirteen-years old when her family moved out of state and we lost track ofeach other. During those seven years of retirement, she worked to be a good nannyfor three active boys, learned to eat lobster thermidor and sleep on beds. 

·       The scene of her trying to leave with you is heartbreaking. But there was reliefwhen she responded to one of her boys. If this were shown in cinema, the wholeaudience would be crying. What were you going through dujring this scenario.

Phoebe taught methat any task undertaken and accomplished well is a thing to celebrate. Shehelped me to learn to put my dog’s needs ahead of my own and to look until Ifound the best solution to retire my guide dogs.

 

_______________________________________________
Group1 mailing list
Group1 at bluegrasspals.com
http://bluegrasspals.com/mailman/listinfo/group1
-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: <http://bluegrasspals.com/pipermail/group1/attachments/20181016/576a46b7/attachment.html>