[Critique Group 1] my comments for july critique session

[sitting.duck at springmail.com]

[comments for DeAnna
I enjoyed the chapter, and got further insight into your life with Tammy and Kurt.
Good addition suggesting a way to allow the children to pet Tammy without violating the rules. 
This will help readers with a dog to have a way to handle this problem successfully. 
I think it can also be a teaching tool to help children to remember when it is permissible to interact with the dog.
I had to read it a couple of times before I realized the orange puff ball was Lucky. At first I thought it was a hair ball.
You had mentioned Lucky grew to 18 pounds . I found it hard to imagine a cat this size in the food bowl.
Earlier you had described Lucky as orange and fluffy. You might consider putting this description closer to the bowl incident.
I enjoyed the antics of Tammy & Lucky very much.
I also enjoyed  the bit about the old tom cat, 
however, not sure it and you feeding Tammy outside during the summer really belongs in the story.
At the restaurant, where the waiter brought Tammy a steak. 
Here, again, you offer information to the reader about the proper way for strangers to treat a working dog.
It is unfortunate that a steak was wasted, but perhaps served as a good lesson for the waiter whom I am sure meant well.
I am reminded of the incident where a friend of mine had just gotten a new dog. He decided to go on a vacation with the dog. He is not sure how it happened, but the dog was poisoned and died while he was on that trip.
Kurt found a job...
We know that you and Kurt were working on finishing up your studies and getting your certifications, 
so I assume you have them at this point. but it would be good to verify that for the reader.
When you went to apply for the entry level position, I see some of that anger your college professor felt you should have, and wanted you to write about.
This chapter has a lot of information, 
but I don't see what its goal is. 
It is all over the place. 
You and Kurt finishing up your training, 
a new addition to the family, 
conflict between Tammy and Lucky, 
then we get around to Kurt getting a job and your frustrations with getting, doing, and finally losing you. 
What is the focus or purpose of this piece?
You might consider breaking it up into smaller pieces and put each of the areas into a chapter of their own.

[comments for Sally
I was touched by this.
cake crumbs representing sweet beloved memories. Swept away by dementia

[comments for Marsha
Was the special child you mentioned in some of your other writing one of these girls?
During the counseling, did you learn any signs to watch for in identifying people like this?
Graphic picture of how the system usually further victimizes the person. 
It's like the system is on the side of the predator trying to find any way to excuse his behavior and exonerate him while punishing the victim.

[comments for Leonard
Not sure if I'm seeing something that isn't here.
But, based on other recent writings, 
I'm wondering if you are feeling that, like the planet, you are being destroyed by pollution?
Nearing end of life.
I can't picture how the bees got between two plastic panes unless you mean the walls of the greenhouse.
According to a documentary film I watched a couple of years ago, plastic also contains wood fiber.