[Critique Group 1] As usual, late! Critiques 1/18/2016
DeAnna Noriega
quieth2o at socket.net
Wed Jan 25 18:06:08 EST 2017
Cleora,
The Groove in the Ceiling
As usual, I would change a few tenses. The chemistry teacher said instead of
was saying.
I don't recognize the word "Woot" perhaps some other word here.
I would change "headed with a brisk walk" to "walked briskly.
"Thoughts of "I should ask my Dad" I thought-"I should ask my Dad!"
I liked the scrambling to decide and wondering what Dad would think and how
to get it home. It was very real.
Mary Jo,
I thought this needed a better title. I liked the rhythm, pacing and whimsy.
No other suggestions.
Bonnie,
Angel died Saturday seemed to make the article immediate, but I thought it
happened quite a while ago.
Needs some updating work.
Marilyn
Where There is Smoke
Lots of well-done energy, panic and confusion.
No suggestions.
-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: <http://bluegrasspals.com/pipermail/group1/attachments/20170125/a58cc0ae/attachment.html>
More information about the Group1
mailing list