[Critique Group 2] Leonard's comments On Val's July sub

[leonard tuchyner]

This  piece is in tribute to a song for a woman or women fighting in
Paris for a reasonably good life.

I think this is so, but I’m not sure.

One of them is beautiful,

an image painted for her by her father .

She  is fierce in her singing.

She faces the world with a  raised fist

and the façade of a tigress.

The Other woman is quiet.

She has learned to be resilient  by force of wil.

Her songs are reality,

and she  gains her sense of worth from being  open with her pain.

She is determined to thrive,

despite   her pain..

These women are both seeking peace and success in different ways.

Opposites and  yet the same.

Unknown to each other.

Wonderful portraits of the pair.

Beautiful, as usual.


she is beautiful,
female image of her
late father
always pointed out to her.
she dyes her thick, dark hair gold,
sings sweet fire
running through her voice
like electric tide.
folks speculate about her music,
is she a rebel or tigeress?
too young for temprant ease?

++

She is rock reality,
inherited from her dad
now gone, too soon.
Her songs are laced in
deep loss and rezilliance
battled for with her soul.
Determined to thrive, she keeps her pain transparent,
yet protected by strength gained hard and deep.

Two women surviving
unaware they are different strangers,
one shakes her fist, weeping..
the other cries,
wrapped in silent need.
Twin hearts searching for peace.

+for Annabel  and Paris