[Critique Group 2] Leonard's comments on Sandra's July's sub

[Leonard Tuchyner]

This is a cute poem of a feline that loves all kinds of chips 
I love this poem.
Her mistress deliberately crinkles the dorito bag to alert her.
and she surmises that her pleasure is parralelled to that of her mistress . 
She is always alert to the sounds of crinkling cellophane of the dorito container, 
and has no shame for her plaintive,begging meow. 

Other than that she loves to sleep..  
A well crafted  poem. 
Humorous. Accurate description of a  slice of life 
of a feline.


Where the Chips Fall
By Emily Streeter
 
I still sport my tuxedo suit,
As I curl up on the office bed,
Like a shrimp—so very cute,

I must own—though, my pet mom’s also said:
Breath in gentle exhalation,

Not a single care in the world—


Could rouse a happy, sleepy girl!
 
O-o-o-oh . . . and, here’s that greeting fair!
The package going, “Crinkle, crinkle, crackle,”
One of my favorite snacks—will my human share?
I have to learn what’s in that bag that rattles!
Ka-THUNK, I land on study floor . . .
And down the stairs I run,
Wonder gleefully what I’ll score!
“Hey, Em,” she says, her voice exuding fun,
 
My meow is  most undignified,
A full-out, shameless whining plea!
I won’t stop ‘til I’m satisfied.
Besides, she likes it when I sing.
She drops a crunchy morsel by,
H’mm . . . Sniff . . . sniff . . . Mexican, its scent,
Such a salty, cumin tang supplies.
Chomping on Doritos—that’s time well-spent!
 
I think my joy must be the same
As my human’s hours,  with her special friend,
Who delights in her unwavering claim
That I so love chips—whatever their blend.
And now, once more, to library lounge—
Or, perhaps, near my Two-legs to rest:
At least, ‘til, again,  cellophane sounds,
Stimulus for my instinctive quest!
 
 
 
Indebted to David Webber, for his coinage of “Two-legs”, in many of his “Honor Harrington” sci-fi novels.
 
 
 
Sandra
 
“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.”
(C.G. Jung)
 
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Leonard I. Tuchyner, Author



https://www.dldbooks.com/tuchyner/