[Critique Group 2] Fwd: Leonard's comments on Val's submission

[tuchyner5 at aol.com]

This is a powerful piece.  
However, there is a possible misunderstanding. 
 
At some point, the   one who is being comforted reverses roleswith the comforter. 
 
This is an interesting twist,
 
because  the berieved,has the same issues of communicating  herunderstanding 
 
of the second party’s issues in communicating  her grief. 
 
If I’m not mistaken, 
 
the same rules apply expressing for how do you communicateempathy. 
 
Grief talk is usually laid out in empty words. 
 
The way to handle the problem is simply to listen  and be non-judgemental  
 
and resist the use of platitudes. 
 
  
 
Grieftalk
 
  
 
  
 
I'm sorry,
 
so sorry for your loss.
 
I feel the pain cavern
 
behind your words, tears--
 
understanding I can't change it,
 
  
 
I think you meant it rather than i.
 
 
 
fix i, so,
 
  
 
There is a confusion here. It sounds like you are trying tocomfort  the one who is  talking about your loss. There statements aretrue and valid. They realy do feel yur pain. You can’t change that feeling of empathy that they have, so youlisten, as though you are not the berieved one.
 
 
 
I will listen--
 
a witness to your shattered heart--knowing platitudes don'tcomfort,
 
assumptions and presumptions are
 
empty walls, pity only sighs.
 
You know there is little you can do about their feelings, soyou just listen. The things you can say are empty.
 
Yes, I will listen,
 
not interjecting, to each word, feeling and sob,
 
knowing so well the annihilation of loss.
 
You know how bad the pain of loss is, so you try not to door say  anything to  cheapen their experience.
 
  
 
Valerie Moreno
 
Standing in the lonely light of the silver moon
 
looking over maps of memories for the road...
 
-Michael Nesmith
 
1942-2021
 
____
 
spiritwind at pmpmail.com
 
  

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