[Critique Group 2] uneeded reminder and my piece for sub

[tuchyner5 at aol.com]

Word count: 1,069




 


Mother Gremlin




 


I had just laid my mother to rest in her eternal grave. Itwas a normal service as graveside services go. I had all the mixed feelingsthat come with burying one’s mother. They were, well …, mixed.  I loved her, of course. Of course, I did. Shewas my mother, after all. But and I use the word ‘but’ advisedly, but she couldbe a pain at times.  



So why, you may ask, was I driving the car alone? Well, itjust so happened that my wife sprained her ankle while walking off our porchheaded to the driveway.  It was one ofthose freakish accidents where the fall caused her to sprain her arm.  So, she needed help getting back to the house.We were already running late. The only ones around to help her were my kids,Jeremy and Kimberly.  I couldn’t be late,so I had to leave them. I saw Joan, my wife, crawling on her knees back to thehouse, with my two youngsters urging her on. I know now that the sprained armand ankle was no coincidence. 



Anyway, I was feeling bad about leaving them in thatsituation, but what choice did I have? When I got to the graveyard, I had toexplain all of that to the significant others who were there to send my motheroff on her eternal journey. Or so I thought.



As I originally was saying, I was driving home when suddenlyI noticed a woman sitting next to me. That was very surprising, as there wasn’tanyone there when I first entered the vehicle. 



It was my mother!



I screamed. I screamed again. I kept screaming in abjectterror.  Obviously, my driving was alittle erratic.



“Are you trying to kill us?” my dead mother asked. “Whydon’t you pull to the side of the road until you can drive like a normalperson.  You never drove that way before.Why now?  You’re upsetting me. I thinkyou must be going crazy.”



My terror turned to anger. This was definitely my mother. Imight have guessed that she couldn’t stay in the ground like a normal person.Oh my God, I was beginning to sound like her.



I pulled over abruptly. 



“What are you doing here?”



“Is it so strange?  Big deal. A mother wants to spend a littletime with her son. Is that any reason to be driving down the highway like acrazy man?”



I tentatively reached out to touch her, to make sure she wassolid and not a ghost. It was a tentative exploratory probe with a forefingeron her shoulder.



“Is that the way to touch your mother? Try it again.”



I did, because my tendency was to do what my mother said Ishould do. This time, there was no resistance, and my finger and arm wentthrough her. I gasped.“Make up your mind. I can be solid or not. What’s thedifference? Just tell me what you want, I’ll be glad to oblige.”



My heart was pounding.



“Take some deep breaths. You’re going to have a heartattack. Is that want you want?”



“WHAT And Who Are You?”



“I guess I’m going to have to explain it to you, Dummy. I’mnot human. I never was human. I’m a gremlin. There, now you know.”



“But. . . but you died. Do gremlins die?”



“Not usually. We usually go somewhere, like a computer, andrejuvenate ourselves.”



“But … but you gave birth to me. Do gremlins give birth?”



“Not unless we want to. I guess I’m going to have to startand give you the whole magilla.  Payattention. I don’t want to repeat myself.”



“Okay, tell me. Please,” I urged. The last thing I usuallywanted from her was to explain things. However, in this case I listened.



“I fell in love. Okay, maybe it was lust.  So, I married your father, Sam. He wanted children,so I conjured one up for him.”



“Wait a minute.  I wasborn, wasn’t I?”



“Born, conjured, accidental …What’s the difference?  I did the same when your sister came.”



I just sat there. I was too stunned to move. 



“What’s happened? Cat got your tongue?” she asked.



I broke out of my stupor. “I think if I was conjured, Ishould know. There’s a difference between conjured and born. Was I conjured orborn?” I yelled.



“Watch your tone of voice when speaking to your mother. Yourbirth was conjured. You just have to know how to work with genes is all.”



“Oh my God, do I have your genes?” I cried.



“Yes, yes. You’re half gremlin.” 



“Oh no. That’s terrible. What does that mean?”



“Only that you will be bad luck to people you don’t like.Maybe. We won’t know until you mature.”



“Mature? I’m 50. When do I mature?”



“Give it another 50 years, give or take 25.  You’re not immortal. I can’t make youimmortal. But you will be very long lived. You may have to go through a funerallike I did.  Then again, you could trip andfall and break your neck and die at 51. Don’t ask me. I wouldn’t know.”



This discussion went on for another 30 minutes in which Ilearned a lot about gremlins. 



“So where does that leave us now?” I asked after a while.



“I’ve decided to live with you.”



“Not a chance. Joan and the kids would never understand.”



“I’ll make myself invisible to everyone except you.”



“Not a good idea. What other options do you have?”



“Some son you are. Won’t even let your mother live with you,”she complained.



“No. It won’t work. You can’t live with us. Especially notif you’re invisible. My family will think I’m nuts.   I’ll slip. They’ll see me talking to you butthey won’t see you. How will that look?”



“Darling, they already think you’re nuts. And do you knowwhy they think you’re crazy?”



“No. I can hardly wait for you to tell me.”



“Because you are half a gremlin. Halflings come across thatway. Besides, I’ll live in your computer.”



“No, no no. Not in my computer. Please not in my computer,”I began to cry.



“It will be fun. You just wait and see. We are going to havea wonderful time. By the way, don’t worry about Joan. She’s going to be fine.”



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