[Critique Group 2] Leonard's comments on Joan's piece

[tuchyner5 at aol.com]

Joan sub for May




 


Shadows are empty. 



They are hopes, 



unfulfilled promises of a springtime  that could fill an empty nest, 



or dreams dreampt upon a pillow 



or the empty nest of a bird. The willow sighs to be fulfilled. 



But there is nothing on the pillow or in the bed.  



So, the promise is still there. 



The bed is waiting to be filled, 



the dreams are still their in potential, 



and the nest may yet obtain a bird.  



Maybe this is talking abut a house 



that is waiting for an occupant to come with the coming of Spring.



But there is no one knocking. 



One get’s the feeling of sadness. 



Maybe these  hopes  or dreams will never be realized.




 


Empty



by Joan Myles




 


shadows lean upon the pillow



empty room



the bed is empty too




 


willow in the yard



sighs after winter



listens for wings



the promise of nesting




 


shadows lean upon the pillow lean (Perhaps you meant leave.)



and empty after winter sighing



the promise of empty-nesting




 


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