[Critique Group 2] **Joan's comments for feb 25

[Joan Myles]

Joan’s comments for Feb. 25

**Val

When Spring Comes

*Meaning: seasons shift; perhaps hope will return

*Feeling: delight, renewal, playfulness; shift to loneliness, despair,
longing;

*Technique:  poetry

children chasing evokes playfulness, energy

nature nods approval heightens sense of hope amid longing

title is perfect for both aspects

*Comments: check for extraneous words; tighten lines

**Brad

The New Normal

*Meaning: exploration and analysis of modern term

*Feeling: profound, thoughtful, worth expressing

*Technique:  well-crafted essay; good use of other voices

idea that leads to worse situation feels like a call to action

*Comment: this needs to be read

**Leonard

Ball of Fire

*Meaning: autobiographical experience with lightning

Feeling: Captivating, exciting, touch of humor

*Technique: first person pulls us into the action right away; descriptive

title expresses event and reaction

*Comment:

**Alice

Aunt Lydia’s Player Piano

Meaning: autobiographical recounting of beloved family possession

*Feeling: sadness, longing, love, regret

*Technique: first person pulls us in, poetic form, descriptive, deeply
personal

8 *Comments: Is poetry right for this piece? Would personification be of
use?
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