[Critique Group 2] Group 2 poetry submission for December 9, 492 words

[Alice Massa]

Season’s Greetings!Group 2 writer friends--Each year since I wrote the 
following in 2013, I had planned to submit the following children’s 
rhymed story to traditional publishers before going the route of 
self-publishing.Each January something since 2013 has arisen to prevent 
my working further on this story.Once again I am determined to try to 
submit the story; however, after all of these years, I have now one 
concern or two about the following piece.I will look forward to your 
comments to know if you have the same concern as I.AJM

* * *

Hailey, the Angel Who Was Afraid of Heights

by Alice Jane-Marie Massa

Once at the North Pole, there was an angel made.

However, there was only one problem:she was a bit afraid.

“Afraid?Afraid,” you ask, “or just shy?”

Oh!She was afraid of heights, of being atop the tree so high.

Hailey had hair that glistened in the night;

her silk robe was flowing, and her wings were just right.

She was a beautiful tree-topper,

but the height of that tree would stop her

from gracing the Christmas tree at the very tip-top.

Christmas Bunny was the first to say:“I’ll take you up there in one big 
hop!”

Hiding in her box on the very lowest shelf,

Hailey replied, “No, thanks,” as she accepted a tissue from an elf.

“Please, please,” pleaded the Hoosier Cardinal, “do not cry.

Come with me; I’ll teach you how to fly!”

“No, thanks,” Hailey repeated, “I want to stay in my comfy box.

Couldn’t we forget Christmas and turn back the clocks?”

“No way!” said the family of Bubble Lights, in perfect harmony.

“We will happily light your path to the very top of the Christmas tree.”

Snowzee the Bear did a somersault and said,

“I’ll carry you on my back to the highest limb:you have nothing to dread.”

With her halo a little crooked, Hailey peaked out and gave a wink,

“Snowzee, you would be a better tree-topper—just perfect, I think.”

Beaming and blushing, the bear was quite pleased;

but he remembered tradition.Then, the little angel sneezed.

“I must be getting a cold and must stay

in my own little box to keep the germs away.”

“Be brave!Be brave!” implored the lion and the lamb,

“You don’t have a cold!Be bold—to the top of the tree for you, ma’am.”

The Silver Bells jingled and tingled, “Hold your peace!

Hailey needs our support.How about it, Snow Geese?”

“Yes, yes, we can happily volunteer;

but the one who can really help is our friend Golden Reindeer.”

The Golden Reindeer danced and pranced nearer to Hailey’s hiding place.

“If you carry me with you, we can ascend to the top of the tree with the 
utmost of grace.

Hold me tight, and your confidence will grow.

Come out of that box:we have places to go!”

With her new escort, little Hailey went to the top of the tall Christmas 
tree.

Holding the red satin ribbon of Golden Reindeer, Hailey trembled a bit, 
then smiled,

and said, “Look at me!”

So, if someday you look up at a tall Christmas tree

and see a reindeer with the angel, you know who they will be—

Hailey and Golden Reindeer together, side by side—

with all fears gone, Hailey has no reason to hide.

Now, give a wink and a wave to the angel you see;

for only you know the secret of brave Hailey, high atop the Christmas tree.

* * *

Number of words:492

Jolly Holidays to Group 2!

Talk with you on December 9!

Take care, and write creatively--Alice

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