[Critique Group 2] Leonard's comments on Joan's sub

[tuchyner5 at aol.com]

Joan sub for April



Joan, this is profound. 



I am not sure why, but I know it is. 



First of all, it is filled with Oposites. 



The title is   composed of opposites.



The 3 people are all grieving, 



though I’m not sure whether they are working through it. 



They are all isolated for different reasons.  



The old man  is choked withhis memories. 



He can’t see beyond what he has lost. 



The old man has  souvenirs. 



Perhaps they are metaphors of memories of what is lost. 



He is focused on that. 



The young man  carries abottle  which is  both a beautiful flower and a thistle. 



Pherhaps his love life is like that. 



Perhaps his love was thorney and toxic. 



Perhaps it still is.  



It has him tied up. 



The woman is focused on self. 



She is tso  involved in selfthat she is isolated from all others. 



They are all wearing celephane . 



It’s supposed to protect them from the isolation. 



But the rain is too intense for them to see each other. 



If they could, it might be helpful.




 


Desert Rain



by Joan Myles




 


three people head into the desert



the old man’s pockets bulge with souvenirs



the young man’s pilsner is never empty 



the woman lives two thousand miles away




 


three people in  cellophane overcoats



the old man’s love strangles his heart



the young man’s love juggles tulips and thistles



the woman’s love peers through a telescope inward




 


three people treading solitude



the old man is filled with remembering



the young man is filled with forgetting



the woman is filled with being




 


three people head into griefs desert



side by side without seeing



without hearing without knowing the others are there



because the rain is too dense




 


-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: <http://bluegrasspals.com/pipermail/group2/attachments/20210430/add4656d/attachment.html>