[Critique Group 2] Leonard's comments on Brad

[tuchyner5 at aol.com]

Brad

 

This isa great beginning to a  much larger piece. 

Was itintended that way?  

Thelanguage is very descriptive and it held my attention. 

Itleaves the reader with many questions,

 the way an introductory  chaptershould.  

Now wejust wait for the character development and the story to unfold.

 

 

Moonrise OverBelize

 

 

I wasn'tplanning on taking this vacation at all. It was one of those

impulsivedecisions for which I am far from being famous. My friend Calvin

and his familysort of talked me into it and my good buddy, Ryan was

delighted whenthe potential vacation idea was floated in his direction.

Since we wouldbe staying at a beach resort in distant Belize, we all felt

like we wereleaving Covid 19 behind as much as is possible these days.

 

We werefortunate to score a direct Delta flight and we all sprang for first

class seating.So by the time we arrived at our resort, "Sun, Sand and

Peace" wewere all feeling no pain or concern. How little did we know then?

 

It so happenedtoward the end of our stay, that one lovely evening we

gathered withnew friends we had bonded with at the resort, and found are

selves allhanging on a heart breakingly beautiful tropical beach. Most of

us held tallglasses containing a multi-colored array of heavily fortified

Caribbeanbeverages. There was a small Rum distillery on premises which was

rightfullylocally beloved. The day was gradually fading into twilight.

Behind us,paths transected the lush jungle flora. Reggae music, wafted from

the distantelegant beach cafe which was one of our favorite spots at the

resort.

 

Happy childrenwere splashing in the ocean, calling to each other and

batting arounda soccer ball. Its picturesque arcing through the sky of

darkeningevening caught my attention for a memorable few moments.

 

Suddenly,Hank, the buzz-cut verbose American tourist, who was gazing at the

horizon andfocusing his precision German optics declaimed "Not good! I see

what lookslike eight vessels heading toward this beach." As they grew

closer, allcould see large bore guns mounted fore and aft on swivels . The

creased andbattered metallic hulls were of some color between green and

dirty grey.Each craft held at least 10 men dressed in cammo.

 

The beachbecame more and more deserted as the gunboats drew slowly closer.

 

"Here wego again, get out of the water and come with me quickly" A dark

eyed, anxiousmother entreated her children loudly. Placing a calming hand

on myshoulder, Calvin opined: "could be a party,

could be awar. Well, we'll know soon enough. Let's go have a glass of wine.

Whatever'scoming, there's nowhere else to go."

 

"Hel,let's have a bottle instead and it's my treat!" I said resignedly

thinking thatactually it might be my last treat in more ways than one. It

was animmediately sobering realization that just taking a vacation could

potentiallyalter one's life for the worst in ways never anticipated. One

suddenlyrealizes that all our lives could go drastically south, as the

night deepensand before the moon fully rises over the beautiful welcoming

land ofBelize.

 

 
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