[Critique Group 2] Leonard's comments on Brad's pieces
tuchyner5 at aol.com
tuchyner5 at aol.com
Tue May 12 13:48:25 EDT 2020
This is notwhat we expect from you, but it is the same great style.
It is a ratherbleak interpretation of the city.
Unfortunately,it is the same way I tend to interpret it.
But there areother interpretations
For example, Ihave a friend who walks the bowrey, using a grocery cart to steady herself.
She’s almostninety and is a retired nun.
She works asoup kitchen and gives counsel to the people there.
What is notknown, is that she is an aunt to arather well known polotitian there,
and she livesin a rather nice apartment.
City Serenade
C By Brad Corallo
Word count 291
The 2 bit,counterfeit biker boy
with his Kawasaki and his vinyljacket
brags about, he'son the street
but his dad's ina high tax bracket.
Maybe istrying to rebel against his father and find himself.
And scarredlittle Tommy-Suzie
tryin' to figureout what she is.
How did sheget scarred?
Wanna speculatein real estate?
Those nice gentsin suits, scam masters, connected brutes.
Chances areyou'll buy a farm.
fast and withouta trace.
Cops just shaketheir heads, not our business!
Absolutely, noalarm!
Wheelchairveteran, greasy matted hair
hangs on thecorner with his flag and cup.
Aint getting muchaction today.
Zoned out people,shuffle by
no earthly reasonto look
up.
What’s behindthose eyes?
And 2 blocksdown, an African guy in a turban
is preaching forJesus and redemption.
Handin' out soupkitchen chits and holy tracts.
but no body paysattention!
And yet, hekeeps on preaching.
In the park bythe old war monument,
currency andproduct change hands
Business schooldropouts, black market sharps
offer Chemdog andMexStar, top name brands
Screech of sirensas the cops
blow down 53rdchasin'
some unholymaniac in a djellaba,
wielding a loadedcross bow
screamingsomething about justice!
We have to dosomething about those crossbows. Don’t you have to have a license for them
Air horns blow,air breaks grab.
Buses push ahead,cars backfire.
Are thosegunshots?H
Was That lastverse written by someone with Psd?
Hordes of peoplehurry down broken sidewalks.
Trying to getfrom here to there with minimal eye contact.
What’s behindthose eyes?
Wafting smells ofItalian food cooking
mingle withscents of overflowing litter baskets.
Just another dayin the city.
Where life is onthe cheep
and uptownplayers look so pretty.
Maybe not sopretty.
Down a filthyalley
spatter-dotpainted with trash and broken glass-
behind a dumpsterreeking from rotting restaurant scraps-
A gray, strayflea bitten tabby
tenderly suckles hernew born kittens.
That was thetenderest thing yu said.
jamesstarfire at gmail.com
-----
The poem is good, especially
in the use of alliteration. There are a few words that I questioned . Thepoem has a lot of descriptions thatdescribe the way I feel.
hismusic.
Ambiguity, Mentalhealth and Covid 19
C By Brad Corallo
Hi, I'm Brad andI am the Senior Rehab Counselor in a local not-for profit
agency. Part ofmy work is in our PROS mental health program. Pros means:
PersonalizedRecovery Oriented Services. This program assists folks with
varied issues todevelop the coping strategies and skills needed to
accomplish theirpersonal goals. The program has a mental health clinic
which providespsychiatry, and individual/ group therapy. I am 1 of 2
psychotherapists.
When Covid 19exploded on the scene, we were asked to provide "Tele-Care,
which involvessupportive daily telephone contacts.
As a professionalwith a visual impairment, I have been able to work from
home providingsupport and psychotherapy to 13 clients via telephone. All is
carefullydocumented.
This enables meto not expose my self to possible infection by avoiding SCAT
to commute. Ihave been working this way for one month.
The hardest thingfor my clients to handle about this unique situation is
the lack of clearanswers as to how long Covid 19 will impact us all.
Unfortunately, nobody really knows. There is a theory that the greater the
ability to handleambiguity in life, the more mentally healthy a person is.
For many of myclients, ambiguity is the toughest thing. A lack of clear
answers causesincreased anxiety and frustration. So I am assisting my
clients to bettermanage both these feelings and the pandemic's reality.
Fortunately formany, it seems to be working.
For me, writinghas been helpful. I didn't plan to write about Covid 19. It
seemed too big anddevastating to inspire creativity. Well, after hearing
new lyrics by BobDylan "Murder Most Fowl", non- virus related, I wrote the
poem below.
***
No Direction Home
Word count 49
Adrift, alone onoceans unknown
Surrounded,solely by sea and sky
Wide waters wail,wearily waiting
How do waters wail.
Uncharted,untraveled Unimagined uncertain
Thousandthoughtful theories threaten
Absorbed, angry,alertly agitated
Vast Vertiginous,viral vista
Foreseeable fate,fathomless fear\
Did you mean to use forseaable, or did you meanunforseeable.
though,relatively resolute, resigned and ready!
Total documentword count: 501
jamesstarfire at gmail.com
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Ambiguity, Mentalhealth and Covid 19-version for 4-30-20-Group 2, critique
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