[Critique Group 2] Leonard's comments of Joan's submission

[tuchyner5 at aol.com]

Well, you’ve got mewondering. 

Unless you are talkingabout about  a sloth, I don’t have aclue.  

Maybe your talking abouta leaf. 

They don’t know anythingfrom anything.   

It sounds a little bitlike learning to draw by being able to see only shapes and not put meaning tothe things you are drawing. 

They say you end updrawing it the way it is.  

So this one has got mecluless .

 

Hanging

 

I can’t distinguish

Windows fromwatermelons

Since both discloserain

 

I can’t distinguish

Words from soapbubble currents

Since both floataway

 

I can’tdistinguish 

Happiness frommeteors

>From broccoli soup

 

I can only hang

>From tree branchesto witness

The world as it is

 
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