[Critique Group 2] (no subject)

[tuchyner5 at aol.com]

Title of poem:  Sending Critiquevia Parachute



 



by Alice Jane-Marie Massa



 



 



Eatinga warm croissant



withhuckleberry preserves



andlistening to an old article



fromTHE WRITER magazine,



Ifinally decide how to do



thecritique of your poem.



Veryclever approach. 



Withdelicate pastry and practical poetry in mind,



Irealize that an overpowering bow and piercing arrow



cannotbe the means for sending to you



mycritique of your piece.



Youdon’t want to be too harsh. 



Youwant to be suportive of the good parts, 



butget your criticism across. 



Asthe gently sweet huckleberries



stimulatemy senses,



Ithink of tying my critiques with pink satin bows



ontoa frosted elm tree in your frozen yard.



Oh,no!  Too public!?



You don’t  want to be too flamboyant about it.



 



Sippingmy Downton Abbey herbal tea,



Iponder various other ways



ofsharing with you



notonly my suggestions for revision,



butalso your strengths, flairs of creativity



inyour poetic stanzas.



 



AlthoughI want to stand and applaud



yourunrhymed effort,



wishto give you a standing ovation--



mytask ahead must be more thoughtful,



moreuseful, more realistic.



 Theseare questions we all ask. 



Howto make the critique useful, 



withoutdevastating.



Thus,as a pillow of pastry 



fallssoftly onto my holly-and-ivy plate,



Ienvision the answer before me:



aparachute!



 



Yes! Out and away from the power-driven plane,



thelavender parachute will deploy.



Gently,ever so gently,



myrecommendations will ride slowly through the air,



sharedwith wise eagles



andthe ever-diligent, harmless hummingbirds.



Eachaccolade will be



touchedby a glistening star



asthe positive points parachute to Earth.



Yes,the parachute is a good idea. 



Itmakes its point very gently. 



A-ah,the landing, the landing is so important.



Despitethe beautiful grace



ofthe parachute's mid-air descent,



thelanding--



reunitingwith ground control--



maybe rough, quite jolting.



Evenwhen wearing the best of boots,



evenwhen aiming well for the target,



repeatedlandings on hard terrain



maycause back problems.



Thecontinial assault on one’s ego 



canbe hard to bear.  



Howto get the right combination. The landing is most important.



So,I do fervently wish you



agood landing with your poem.



Maymy critique facilitate



yourpoem's landing with a solid,



butnot painful,



copyrightand publication.



 Veryclever 



 



 



 




 



 



 


_______________________________________________




 

-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: <http://bluegrasspals.com/pipermail/group2/attachments/20200205/f28e955f/attachment-0001.html>