[Critique Group 2] Leonard's comments re: Alice

[tuchyner5 at aol.com]

To answer your question. I like the examples given at theend., so I would keep tthem.  



I think the piece is beautiful. 



For me it also raised a lot of thoughtswhich I have shared. 



But none of it is a negative  to the poem. 



I would not suggest any changes. 



I just let my comments mirror some of the thoughts  I had while reading .



A Palette of Patience



 



poem by Alice Jane-Marie Massa



 



 



Withan autumn leaf as a palette



anda paintbrush crafted of 



purplechrysanthemums and lavender,



theangel-in-waiting,



usinga technique of pointillism,



paintsdots of patience



ontothe wings of each butterfly.



It took millions of years for thebutterfly, crisanthimum , and leaves to evolve. 



One might say that it must have taken alot of patience to do that.   



Waiting can be done in the ‘now.’ 



By living in the present moment ofbecoming, patience is cause and effect.  



I remember one of your poems in which yousay a poem is never done.  



When we take the time to experience  a butterfly or flower, it is as though it isa finished piece of work. 



But the process of becoming never stops. 



Part of patience may be  to stop and revel in  the experience of process and where It is atthe moment. 



I wonder what the buttefly will look likea thousand years from now. 



I look frward to finding out, 



even If it means that the butterfly is nolonger physically in this realm and demension. 




 


 



Whena group of angels-in-waiting



areready to celebrate their graduation,




 


I didn’t know what an angel in waitingwas, so I listened to the song.  The songis as interpretable as your poem.  



I would like your understanding of what anangel in waiting is.  



Also, what does graduation mean?



theyrelease a flutter of butterflies



tomigrate to Earth.



 I love this concept. 



Simple language cannot convey the essenceof what your poetic lines have done. 



Waitingin line, ...



Waitingfor a bus, ...



Waitingfor a cab, ...



Waitingfor an arrival, ...



Waitingfor paint to dry, ...



Waitingat a doctor's office, ...



Waitingfor the dough to rise, ...



Waitingfor a job offer, ...



Waitingfor the light to turn green, ...



Waitingfor the rain to stop, ...



Waitingfor a call, ...



Waitingfor the repair person, ...



Waitingfor spring, ...



 



Didyou plant some butterfly bushes?



Whenthe butterfly took a flight path



aroundyou,



didyou not catch a little patience



asit floated off the delicate wings



ofthe heavenly butterfly?



Nocatcher's mitt,



nobutterfly net required:



justopen your hands,



andthe patience will absorb into



awaiting heart.



 



* **



 



Oneday, I remembered this story



whenmy Leader Dog and I were walking east toward the lake.



Alady stopped me and had to tell me:



"Ihave been watching you and your guide dog.



Fourbutterflies have been flying around her.



Ithink one even landed on her,



butshe kept concentrating on her work."



Ijust smiled and thanked the pedestrian.



Then,I knew why I have



aBritish Black Lab--



LeaderDog Willow--



whois blessed 



witha heavenly patience.



 



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