[Critique Group 2] Leonard's comments on Joan's piece

[tuchyner5 at aol.com]

Supurb metaphisical,  spiritual  exercise and lesson. 




 


The Sea and Me



It makes sense thatthe sea moves between shores.



The sea , whichtransforms itself from a quiet glass of rippling reflections



into a rocketingmountain of foam 



I see here, in retrospect, how you are setting up the seato be representative of life, or the universe. Or God. 




 


And fury, wild withwatering eyes.



I’m not sure about ‘watering eyes.’  



I like the idea of an all pervading watchfulness , 



which may be what you are saying using the  annalogy of ‘eyes.  



But Watering  is alittle weak and doesn’t support the feeling of the eyes.  



You might try something like ‘baleful eyes.’  



I know watering gives an alliteration of ‘W’ sounds. 



But ‘baleful gives you the ‘L’ sounds.




 



 


And I have beentaught  from every side



Life is a seacarrying me between two shores.



I like the juxtaposition  of ‘sides and ‘two shores. 



Do life and death correspond with  the 2 shores?




 


(Humans seem to likeparentheses)



Marvelous use of “parrenthases’.




 


Beginnings andendings are tidy,



Tell us Where wehave been and where we’re headed.




 


But just maybe, lifehas no parentheses.



Maybe Life is oneinfinite line with a few points that leap and dance.



Maybe an infinitecircle, a place of silent 



I think that the only way for the human brain to conceiveof infinity is through the  image of thecircle.  Or torus . 



What you are saying supports the idea that time is thefinite brain’s invention to understand existence.  




 


Knowing and blissand love.



I love the way your work toys with  the ‘Great Mystery.’  



All things  eviland good are ultimately good 



when seen holistically.  



All opposites comprise oneness.  



Yet all is good.  



It is the yin/yang concept. 




 


And we all--squidand algae, salmon, starfish and rubber boots--



Flail about frantically, suspended in darkness.*



As we frolic andfight and spawn like fish in the sea



Great 3 lines putting everything  in concrete terms.



,



The sea of silentknowing, bliss and love.



Because we are the ever-shifting sea foam 



Floating in thevast, blue eternity of God.



One interesting conundrum. That has to do with the word‘Vast.’  



The word means a very gig place, or a boundless place. 



Logically, you can’t have it both ways.   



Boundless may be out of he ability of he human brain toconceive.  



However, not so for the human mind, which I believe isbeyond the bounds of the physical brain. 




 

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