[Critique Group 2] Leonard's comments re: Val

[tuchyner5 at aol.com]

You have captured a mood in words that  soft, sax jaz does with music. Great job. 




 


Sweet Jazz InLate Summer



Good title. 



An important word here is ‘sweet.’ 



There are so many different styles of jaz, andthey are not all sweet.  



Sweet and summer go together nicely.




 


I linger overdinner—



Linger is an important word.   



There are several indications that  the mood is one of slow, lazy  passion. 



Linger fits right in.




 



 


Spaghetti andMeat Balls—



Nothing out of the ordinary day.   Nothing special. 




 


alone as eveningeases in.



this would have a different flavor if you were notalone.   



Also, ‘eases in’ fits the languid, lazy mood sowell.




 


I don't know theperson playing



smooth jazz onthe sax 



Smooth Jaz and sax go together.  Liquid andsomnolent.




 


somewhere outsidemy quiet world,



The music is a connection to a part of the outsideworld.  



So she is alone, but not alone.   



She is connected via the music to magic.




 


but my heartrests in the sultry sound



There is heat in ‘sultry.’ That can translate topassion.  



A lazy, sinuous , excitement.  



This is a complex feeling   that the piece describes very well.




 


making myordinary life routine magic.




 


Valerie Moreno


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